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Boyfriend In Jail For Five Years
- By Miss Emily
- Published 03/2/2011
- Relationships - Women
Dear Miss Emily,
I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 8yrs, on and off. We both are 23 yrs old, but we didn't see each other for 5 yrs because he was in jail. We just got back together last year, December 26 2010. I feel like I'm about to give up on him because he tells me he loves me, sweet things, etc., but there's times when he disappears and he won't call or text me and when I ask why he always says he's busy or stressed out. Please, any advice would be great at this time! I don't wanna give up on him cause I love him dearly.
----------------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------------
That's a long time to hang on to this relationship under the circumstances. You are to be commended for your loyalty -- but I think there may trouble ahead. I don't want to put him down, needlessly, and I don't want to be too negative, but he's been in jail for the last five years and he sees the world, now, through a whole different lens. It may be, no matter how much you love him, you and he are walking two separate paths and may never find common ground. If he's MIA, and he can't give you a legitimate reason why, he may be up to something that could get him into trouble. The sad thing about prison is that it often teaches inmates zip in terms of rehabilitation. There are a lot of repeat visits to prison, because the individual doesn't know how to function in the outside world. And ex-cons are labeled. In the U.S., you can no longer vote, and you will always carry a criminal record. It's hard finding good jobs, as a result. Your boyfriend may be capable of moving beyond these obstacles, he is young, but five years is a long time to be locked up without having it change a person. Just be careful. If it isn't working for you, get out. He may be sweet, but it's possible he's living two separate lives.
I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 8yrs, on and off. We both are 23 yrs old, but we didn't see each other for 5 yrs because he was in jail. We just got back together last year, December 26 2010. I feel like I'm about to give up on him because he tells me he loves me, sweet things, etc., but there's times when he disappears and he won't call or text me and when I ask why he always says he's busy or stressed out. Please, any advice would be great at this time! I don't wanna give up on him cause I love him dearly.
----------------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------------
That's a long time to hang on to this relationship under the circumstances. You are to be commended for your loyalty -- but I think there may trouble ahead. I don't want to put him down, needlessly, and I don't want to be too negative, but he's been in jail for the last five years and he sees the world, now, through a whole different lens. It may be, no matter how much you love him, you and he are walking two separate paths and may never find common ground. If he's MIA, and he can't give you a legitimate reason why, he may be up to something that could get him into trouble. The sad thing about prison is that it often teaches inmates zip in terms of rehabilitation. There are a lot of repeat visits to prison, because the individual doesn't know how to function in the outside world. And ex-cons are labeled. In the U.S., you can no longer vote, and you will always carry a criminal record. It's hard finding good jobs, as a result. Your boyfriend may be capable of moving beyond these obstacles, he is young, but five years is a long time to be locked up without having it change a person. Just be careful. If it isn't working for you, get out. He may be sweet, but it's possible he's living two separate lives.
