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Boyfriend's Mother
- By Miss Emily
- Published 03/2/2011
- Relationships - Women
Dear Miss Emily:
My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 months now. His mom really liked me before but, now, she hates me because when my boyfriend's car broke down while I was with him, she was blaming me -- that its my fault because i bring bad luck to him and she doesn't wanna see me ever again, and now my bf and her are fighting all the time because of me. Should i break up with him because I don't want his family to be messed up because of me -- even though we really love each other.
--------------------------------Miss Emily's advice-------------------------
A tough place to be. You, obviously, are not the problem -- at least in this matter. This woman has an ax to grind, but only your boyfriend can stand up to her and pursue his own independence. And that's a tall order. This is his mother, right or wrong, and he is caught in the middle. He may be a great guy, but you don't deserve her vitriol. I know you love him, but this is a taste of what's ahead. If you threaten to break up with him, he's going to be put in a position of having to choose you over his mother. And even if he were to choose you, that presents new problems. If you think you're hated now, just watch out if that happens. It's a shame your boyfriend is the one who may be punished twice in this matter (if you were to leave him), but it really boils down to how much you can take, and if he's worth the strife that will continue unless she changes her mind. For a woman to blame you for her son's can breaking down because you are bad luck, doesn't seem like a woman who is rational -- so I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for her to come around. Ultimately, it's your call based on pros and cons, and a thick skin needed if you stay in for the fight if you choose him.
My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 months now. His mom really liked me before but, now, she hates me because when my boyfriend's car broke down while I was with him, she was blaming me -- that its my fault because i bring bad luck to him and she doesn't wanna see me ever again, and now my bf and her are fighting all the time because of me. Should i break up with him because I don't want his family to be messed up because of me -- even though we really love each other.
--------------------------------Miss Emily's advice-------------------------
A tough place to be. You, obviously, are not the problem -- at least in this matter. This woman has an ax to grind, but only your boyfriend can stand up to her and pursue his own independence. And that's a tall order. This is his mother, right or wrong, and he is caught in the middle. He may be a great guy, but you don't deserve her vitriol. I know you love him, but this is a taste of what's ahead. If you threaten to break up with him, he's going to be put in a position of having to choose you over his mother. And even if he were to choose you, that presents new problems. If you think you're hated now, just watch out if that happens. It's a shame your boyfriend is the one who may be punished twice in this matter (if you were to leave him), but it really boils down to how much you can take, and if he's worth the strife that will continue unless she changes her mind. For a woman to blame you for her son's can breaking down because you are bad luck, doesn't seem like a woman who is rational -- so I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for her to come around. Ultimately, it's your call based on pros and cons, and a thick skin needed if you stay in for the fight if you choose him.
