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- The Truth Will Set You Free
The Truth Will Set You Free
- By Miss Emily
- Published 03/2/2011
- Relationships - Women
Dear Miss Emily:
I have a bit of a problem. One of my friends asked me if I wanted to go to Las Vegas. I said yes because her mom found a great deal online for a roundtrip ticket that only cost 300 dollars; also her parents have a house out there so I wouldn't have to pay for a hotel. This was a few months ago and me, her, her parents and two other friends are suppose to leave in a few weeks. I am taking a year off from school to try and save money, and I have only just realized how much money I am going to end up spending in Vegas: food, entertainment etc. I am in a state of panic because I know this will put me in a financial hole, and I am trying to find a way out of going. I already paid for the ticket and don't care if I can't get that money back; in fact I'd be happy if they gave it someone else. I'd sit down and talk this out with my friend. but she is spoiled and often acts like a child when she doesn't get what she wants -- AKA not a reasonable person when it comes to problems. I know that if I tell her I can't go, because I realized I don't have the money, she will have a major tantrum and get very angry at me. Also, I do honestly feel bad that I said I could go and now I need to pull out of an obligation I made. The other reason is that she and I have been fighting, recently, and I honestly don't like the idea of spending 5 whole days with her. Should I tell her the truth and endure her unending rage? Bite bullet and go anyway? Or make up a fake story in which I can't go?
-----------------------------Miss Emily's advice------------------------
This is definitely the time for you to face the fact that it's all right for you to change your mind based on your new circumstances. Your situation has been altered, and your financial position does not allow for the extravagances that Las Vegas dictates. To stick by the pool, all day, and to order tea and a side of fries at dinner would only highlight the reason for you not wanting to be there. And forget about seeing a show! Surely, the way you described this friend, she will be miffed. She's not concerned about your financial constraints, only getting her way, and the disappointment she will feel if you couldn't go. That is not friendship, in my book, and it's time to stand up to her. Better to learn, now, what friendship is all about -- and what is, and is not acceptable in one. If she were to go ballistic, so be it -- but if you were to go to Vegas out of fear of her, it only enable her, and you lose, again. Do not lie, only be honest about how this will put you in a financial bind that you will not be able to get out from under. This takes courage, my dear, but if you can't stand up for yourself, who will? That said, losing $300 on the plane ticket is unfortunate -- but may be worth the price if you bolster your self-respect.
I have a bit of a problem. One of my friends asked me if I wanted to go to Las Vegas. I said yes because her mom found a great deal online for a roundtrip ticket that only cost 300 dollars; also her parents have a house out there so I wouldn't have to pay for a hotel. This was a few months ago and me, her, her parents and two other friends are suppose to leave in a few weeks. I am taking a year off from school to try and save money, and I have only just realized how much money I am going to end up spending in Vegas: food, entertainment etc. I am in a state of panic because I know this will put me in a financial hole, and I am trying to find a way out of going. I already paid for the ticket and don't care if I can't get that money back; in fact I'd be happy if they gave it someone else. I'd sit down and talk this out with my friend. but she is spoiled and often acts like a child when she doesn't get what she wants -- AKA not a reasonable person when it comes to problems. I know that if I tell her I can't go, because I realized I don't have the money, she will have a major tantrum and get very angry at me. Also, I do honestly feel bad that I said I could go and now I need to pull out of an obligation I made. The other reason is that she and I have been fighting, recently, and I honestly don't like the idea of spending 5 whole days with her. Should I tell her the truth and endure her unending rage? Bite bullet and go anyway? Or make up a fake story in which I can't go?
-----------------------------Miss Emily's advice------------------------
This is definitely the time for you to face the fact that it's all right for you to change your mind based on your new circumstances. Your situation has been altered, and your financial position does not allow for the extravagances that Las Vegas dictates. To stick by the pool, all day, and to order tea and a side of fries at dinner would only highlight the reason for you not wanting to be there. And forget about seeing a show! Surely, the way you described this friend, she will be miffed. She's not concerned about your financial constraints, only getting her way, and the disappointment she will feel if you couldn't go. That is not friendship, in my book, and it's time to stand up to her. Better to learn, now, what friendship is all about -- and what is, and is not acceptable in one. If she were to go ballistic, so be it -- but if you were to go to Vegas out of fear of her, it only enable her, and you lose, again. Do not lie, only be honest about how this will put you in a financial bind that you will not be able to get out from under. This takes courage, my dear, but if you can't stand up for yourself, who will? That said, losing $300 on the plane ticket is unfortunate -- but may be worth the price if you bolster your self-respect.
