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Friendship Betrayal?
- By Miss Emily
- Published 02/26/2011
- Relationships - Teens
Dear Miss Emily:
Today, my best friend which is like my sister, decided to hang out with some druggies and I think they did convince her to smoke weed. I don't agree with any type of drugs. What should I do? Do I still talk to her even though I feel betrayed?
-------------------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------------------
Don't look at it as a betrayal -- it's her life, not yours, although I understand your concern for what she's doing. Ultimately, it's up to her how she wants to conduct her life. People usually have, and keep friends who are like them -- have common interests. But if she suddenly starts hanging with a new crowd, it's going to alter your relationship with her because you don't approve what she is doing. This story is almost as old as the hills, and twice as dusty! Friends often move in different directions, and the closeness that was once a given is no longer the case. Simply let her know you feel bad that she would make a choice like this, and you're not going to offer your stamp of approval. If she continues to hang with these friends, there's little you can do other than keep busy with what you like, and hang with people who are more like you. It's sad and, probably, one of those lessons in life we'd all just as soon take a pass on. At some time, she may change her mind about these new friends and be grateful she has, or had you -- a best friend who was honest with her when you thought she was tripping up. Again, do not internalize this as betrayal, only understand that her choices are hers, and hers alone, to make, and not something you can easily control in a friendship relationship -- no matter how close you two seem to be.
Today, my best friend which is like my sister, decided to hang out with some druggies and I think they did convince her to smoke weed. I don't agree with any type of drugs. What should I do? Do I still talk to her even though I feel betrayed?
-------------------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------------------
Don't look at it as a betrayal -- it's her life, not yours, although I understand your concern for what she's doing. Ultimately, it's up to her how she wants to conduct her life. People usually have, and keep friends who are like them -- have common interests. But if she suddenly starts hanging with a new crowd, it's going to alter your relationship with her because you don't approve what she is doing. This story is almost as old as the hills, and twice as dusty! Friends often move in different directions, and the closeness that was once a given is no longer the case. Simply let her know you feel bad that she would make a choice like this, and you're not going to offer your stamp of approval. If she continues to hang with these friends, there's little you can do other than keep busy with what you like, and hang with people who are more like you. It's sad and, probably, one of those lessons in life we'd all just as soon take a pass on. At some time, she may change her mind about these new friends and be grateful she has, or had you -- a best friend who was honest with her when you thought she was tripping up. Again, do not internalize this as betrayal, only understand that her choices are hers, and hers alone, to make, and not something you can easily control in a friendship relationship -- no matter how close you two seem to be.
