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Is Wife Cheating?
- By Miss Emily
- Published 02/26/2011
- Relationships - Men
Dear Miss Emily:
I've been married to my wife now for almost eight years. I would be lying if I said things used to be perfect, but they were pretty good until a year ago. A year ago I caught her sending nude pictures to an ex-boyfriend who she reconnected with via facebook. Obviously, we had a HUGE argument, and I was ready to call it quits. We decided to try to work things out b/c of our children. Things went well for several months, but the other day she told me she was going to a girlfriend's house. Turns out she went to a guy's house. She has told me before that she has a "history" with this guy. I did a little research, and she has had over 150 contacts with this guy in the last 13 days. She says I am controlling and don't want her to have male friends. She has other male friends that I don't have a problem with. What should I do? Obviously. if she hasn't cheated before with the ex, she came close. Should I trust her? Please help me. I am ready to abandon our relationship. I need some advice.
---------------------------------Miss Emily's advice-----------------------
I am sorry for you, because I don't think your wife is being honest in the least. The correspondence with this guy, and the lie that she was going to a girlfriend's, was to purposely deceive you and not about control. In a truly committed relationship (and that would include marriage!), this kind of thing does not go on. What's the point of being married if your partner wants to engage in this type of activity? Nude pictures to ex boyfriend's is not all right, and she had to know that. 150 contacts with this new guy, in 13 days, is not all right and she knows it. Don't fall for the controlling excuse on this one, because she's simply not committed to you as a wife, and you have every right to take issue with it. You know the difference between an innocent male friendship, and lying to go see one on the pretense of friendship. I would insist on counseling, because now you simply cannot trust her and need help in figuring out what you're going to do from here on out. If she refuses, go to a few sessions on your own. You have a right to expect certain behavior from your wife and, now she, again, has violated your trust. Don't allow it, and let her know she's not fooling anyone. An attorney, as well, may be someone you should consult because your marriage is in serious trouble and you need to have your ducks-in-a- row.
I've been married to my wife now for almost eight years. I would be lying if I said things used to be perfect, but they were pretty good until a year ago. A year ago I caught her sending nude pictures to an ex-boyfriend who she reconnected with via facebook. Obviously, we had a HUGE argument, and I was ready to call it quits. We decided to try to work things out b/c of our children. Things went well for several months, but the other day she told me she was going to a girlfriend's house. Turns out she went to a guy's house. She has told me before that she has a "history" with this guy. I did a little research, and she has had over 150 contacts with this guy in the last 13 days. She says I am controlling and don't want her to have male friends. She has other male friends that I don't have a problem with. What should I do? Obviously. if she hasn't cheated before with the ex, she came close. Should I trust her? Please help me. I am ready to abandon our relationship. I need some advice.
---------------------------------Miss Emily's advice-----------------------
I am sorry for you, because I don't think your wife is being honest in the least. The correspondence with this guy, and the lie that she was going to a girlfriend's, was to purposely deceive you and not about control. In a truly committed relationship (and that would include marriage!), this kind of thing does not go on. What's the point of being married if your partner wants to engage in this type of activity? Nude pictures to ex boyfriend's is not all right, and she had to know that. 150 contacts with this new guy, in 13 days, is not all right and she knows it. Don't fall for the controlling excuse on this one, because she's simply not committed to you as a wife, and you have every right to take issue with it. You know the difference between an innocent male friendship, and lying to go see one on the pretense of friendship. I would insist on counseling, because now you simply cannot trust her and need help in figuring out what you're going to do from here on out. If she refuses, go to a few sessions on your own. You have a right to expect certain behavior from your wife and, now she, again, has violated your trust. Don't allow it, and let her know she's not fooling anyone. An attorney, as well, may be someone you should consult because your marriage is in serious trouble and you need to have your ducks-in-a- row.
