Dear Miss Emily:

Okay, so i have an ex who is my first love. We recently came back in contact after 2 years. This is not a problem because feelings are stronger than ever, but we live in two different states. I have a daughter. he has two, and a girlfriend -- but he has also expressed his feelings. I'm making a trip to see him, and I'm afraid of getting hurt because of the way i feel please help....

--------------------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------------------

I think you're already aware of the potential for this reunion to be a heart-twisting experience. He has a girlfriend, but he sees no problem going behind her back. Perhaps he's hedging his bets -- wants to see if you and he will really work out, but it doesn't alter the facts. Long-distance relationships are hard in the best circumstances, and these are not the best circumstances. Go if you must, but be fully aware that the outcome may not be what you want. It is a choice, and you are fully responsible for the choices you make -- and this would be no exception. Simply don't set yourself up as a victim if this doesn't work out. You are cognizant of the situation he is in, and you would be foolish to think hope is a plan, instead of going into this with your eyes wide open -- and as an adult who will use your head (and less of your heart) when it comes to figuring out if this is nothing more than a chapter in your book of life, or an ongoing storyline. Sometimes, it's not so easy to bring your past into the present.