Dear Miss Emily:

I've recently just graduated from college, and I've made a highly thought out decision to join the navy and make a career out of it. I have yet to tell my parents, or anyone of significance for that matter, and I'm terrified of telling them. My mom is a pessimistic hypochondriac, and my dad is adamant i go to medical school. I just don't want to disappoint them, but my mind is set on this. I repeat, I still haven't told them and they're getting very irritated because I have yet to find work, and they think I'm lazy when i'm really just stalling for time because I'm too afraid to tell them. I just don't know what to do. Please help. The utter frustration is driving me crazy.

------------------------------Miss Emily's advice---------------------

I'm stunned that your parents may not think a career in the navy is an honorable, and noble profession for you. There is tremendous opportunity for a person with college credentials. But let this be a lesson to you, my friend -- you have to stand up to them, now, and take pride in the decision you have made -- and show that pride when you talk to them. Your father's aspirations for you are his, and his alone. You have your own life to lead, and it cannot, or should not be dictated by your parents. Your mother's pessimism is her problem, and it should not be internalized by you. And what are your options -- call them ship-to-shore, with a "Guess what, mom and dad, the sound you hear behind me are waves splashing up against the battleship?" Man-up. This is a test of your maturity, and it's time to embrace it. What you are doing is a source of pride, not scorn, and you have no good reason to cower in the face of small minds. Yes, I know these people are your parents and, apparently, they have a great deal of control in your life -- but it's time for that to end. Let me know what happens.