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Confess to Cheating?
- By Miss Emily
- Published 02/14/2011
- Relationships - Women
Dear Miss Emily:
I have been married for 6 months and I adore my husband. About 3 months ago, for reasons that I now cannot fathom, I got involved with a coworker. We saw each other outside of work a handful of times and texted each other constantly for about a month straight, including lots of sexting. I visited his house several times and, while we did develop a physical relationship, we never had intercourse or even did anything that would have exposed me to an STD or pregnancy. This lasted almost 2 months but is completely over now. I feel horrible, but just want to look forward in my marriage. Should I tell my husband about this? The coworker and I have gone back to a completely professional relationship. I just can't imagine how badly I would be hurt if the tables were turned! Please help!
--------------------------------Miss Emily's advice---------------------------
It is hard to understand why you got involved with someone else so soon after the wedding, but I can only surmise that you weren't ready for marriage, and there might be more temptation in the future if you don't get your head on straight about what a commitment really means. But, no, I do not think you should tell your husband. I know, other advice columnists might suggest otherwise, but your marriage will be in jeopardy, your husband will probably never trust you. again, or certainly not for a long time to come. I think the damage may be irreparable. I am well aware that people are all too human, make mistakes, and there is no point in suffering endlessly. If you've covered your tracks, have no record of this relationship, and it is truly in the past, forget about it and move forward. Hopefully, you have realized the error of your ways and you will think twice about risking your marriage in the future. You got lucky that no one found out about this mini-affair. Ditch the guilt, set your sails in a new direction, and be the best wife you can be to your husband. If the temptation rears its ugly head, again, get some counseling to figure out why you can't be faithful to a man you say you adore.
I have been married for 6 months and I adore my husband. About 3 months ago, for reasons that I now cannot fathom, I got involved with a coworker. We saw each other outside of work a handful of times and texted each other constantly for about a month straight, including lots of sexting. I visited his house several times and, while we did develop a physical relationship, we never had intercourse or even did anything that would have exposed me to an STD or pregnancy. This lasted almost 2 months but is completely over now. I feel horrible, but just want to look forward in my marriage. Should I tell my husband about this? The coworker and I have gone back to a completely professional relationship. I just can't imagine how badly I would be hurt if the tables were turned! Please help!
--------------------------------Miss Emily's advice---------------------------
It is hard to understand why you got involved with someone else so soon after the wedding, but I can only surmise that you weren't ready for marriage, and there might be more temptation in the future if you don't get your head on straight about what a commitment really means. But, no, I do not think you should tell your husband. I know, other advice columnists might suggest otherwise, but your marriage will be in jeopardy, your husband will probably never trust you. again, or certainly not for a long time to come. I think the damage may be irreparable. I am well aware that people are all too human, make mistakes, and there is no point in suffering endlessly. If you've covered your tracks, have no record of this relationship, and it is truly in the past, forget about it and move forward. Hopefully, you have realized the error of your ways and you will think twice about risking your marriage in the future. You got lucky that no one found out about this mini-affair. Ditch the guilt, set your sails in a new direction, and be the best wife you can be to your husband. If the temptation rears its ugly head, again, get some counseling to figure out why you can't be faithful to a man you say you adore.
