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Get Him Back?
- By Miss Emily
- Published 02/10/2011
- Relationships - Teens
Dear Miss Emily:
My X and I dated for a year and a half, after liking each other on and off for 3 years, during high school. We always liked each other. We had this connection. Finally we started dating -- and I moved away to college. I let college get to my head, and I thought what I wanted was partying and flirting. I took my boyfriend, and how happy he made me for granted. So I ended things with him. I broke both of our hearts. We told each other before we broke up that this wasn't the end and that we would be together, again, someday. But I don't know if he feels like that anymore. He seems, from what I have heard, to be a completely different person now. It's been about 5 months, and we do not talk anymore. I want him back, but he has a new girlfriend already. I don't know if I should move on, or fight for what I want. My friends and family keep giving me completely opposite opinions. I miss him and our memories so much. I don't see myself with anyone else!
Should I move one, or get him back?
---------------------------------Miss Emily's advice---------------------------
At some point, in time, you may have to completely move on -- but that doesn't mean it has to be a black-and-white decision now. I know you dwell on the fact that you had made this regrettable decision, but you did what is pretty common once college starts. Your world opened up to different experiences, and those around you were taking advantage of it, as well. It's awfully hard to carry on a relationship that started in high school, once one in the couple goes away to college. New experiences change people. Maybe you do have some unfinished business with your ex, but he has a girlfriend now and, out of respect to that relationship, it would be wise to show some restraint. That does not mean you can't contact him through an e-mail telling him what you are doing, and you miss him. Let him know you had heard he has a girlfriend, you want to respect that, but you'd love to hear from him, somewhere down the line, if he's ever interested. And then let it go. Do not contact him after that, unless he contacts you. It would be wrong to make a concerted effort to get him back. Be careful what you wish for on this rather serious matter of the heart, however. Were he to come back, you'd have to be as positive as you can that this is what you really want -- and not because you are going through some nostalgia trip out of loneliness, you don't see anyone on campus that interests you, or jealousy that he's got a new girl. You want him because he's the absolute best guy, and not to fill a void you could fill if you were to open your heart to new possibilities. It's not easy to go back in time.
My X and I dated for a year and a half, after liking each other on and off for 3 years, during high school. We always liked each other. We had this connection. Finally we started dating -- and I moved away to college. I let college get to my head, and I thought what I wanted was partying and flirting. I took my boyfriend, and how happy he made me for granted. So I ended things with him. I broke both of our hearts. We told each other before we broke up that this wasn't the end and that we would be together, again, someday. But I don't know if he feels like that anymore. He seems, from what I have heard, to be a completely different person now. It's been about 5 months, and we do not talk anymore. I want him back, but he has a new girlfriend already. I don't know if I should move on, or fight for what I want. My friends and family keep giving me completely opposite opinions. I miss him and our memories so much. I don't see myself with anyone else!
Should I move one, or get him back?
---------------------------------Miss Emily's advice---------------------------
At some point, in time, you may have to completely move on -- but that doesn't mean it has to be a black-and-white decision now. I know you dwell on the fact that you had made this regrettable decision, but you did what is pretty common once college starts. Your world opened up to different experiences, and those around you were taking advantage of it, as well. It's awfully hard to carry on a relationship that started in high school, once one in the couple goes away to college. New experiences change people. Maybe you do have some unfinished business with your ex, but he has a girlfriend now and, out of respect to that relationship, it would be wise to show some restraint. That does not mean you can't contact him through an e-mail telling him what you are doing, and you miss him. Let him know you had heard he has a girlfriend, you want to respect that, but you'd love to hear from him, somewhere down the line, if he's ever interested. And then let it go. Do not contact him after that, unless he contacts you. It would be wrong to make a concerted effort to get him back. Be careful what you wish for on this rather serious matter of the heart, however. Were he to come back, you'd have to be as positive as you can that this is what you really want -- and not because you are going through some nostalgia trip out of loneliness, you don't see anyone on campus that interests you, or jealousy that he's got a new girl. You want him because he's the absolute best guy, and not to fill a void you could fill if you were to open your heart to new possibilities. It's not easy to go back in time.
