- Home
- Relationships - Women
- Lose The Anger
Lose The Anger
- By Miss Emily
- Published 02/8/2011
- Relationships - Women
Dear Miss Emily:
Lately, my boyfriend and I, of 6 months, have been arguing a lot. Most arguments are started by me.Like when he comes home from work and says he is too tired to come visit -- or when he doesn't say he loves me often enough. And when we fight, then he doesn't answer my calls which makes me even more angry. But we never disrespect each other.We are both in our early 30s. I really need your advice Miss Emily. I really love this man. Please advise me as how not to jump down his throat and understand if he is too tired to visit. Thank you.
------------------------------------Miss Emily's advice-----------------------------
Taking into account that he truly is tired after work, and you didn't mention what he does for a living, there's no question you have to back-off a little. You can't force him to leap to attention, so even if he were being negligent, that's not a good way to handle this situation. I would bet that if you decide to be be understanding for a few weeks, took the pressure off week-day demands, and didn't expect him to tell you he loves you, you'd find out how much he really cares. People have a tendency to get defensive (backed up against the wall) when they are called to the mat - - when they do, or don't have a valid excuse for the way they behave. Your frustration mounts when he doesn't answer your calls, but that tells me you're too persistent and almost obnoxious about it. You didn't say he was a bad guy, and he probably has some good attributes. In that case, remembering what you have to lose is the best way to hold your tongue. That said, look for signs, when you are together, of him not showing the interest he had before. Six months together is a little too early to lose steam if this relationship has real merit.
Lately, my boyfriend and I, of 6 months, have been arguing a lot. Most arguments are started by me.Like when he comes home from work and says he is too tired to come visit -- or when he doesn't say he loves me often enough. And when we fight, then he doesn't answer my calls which makes me even more angry. But we never disrespect each other.We are both in our early 30s. I really need your advice Miss Emily. I really love this man. Please advise me as how not to jump down his throat and understand if he is too tired to visit. Thank you.
------------------------------------Miss Emily's advice-----------------------------
Taking into account that he truly is tired after work, and you didn't mention what he does for a living, there's no question you have to back-off a little. You can't force him to leap to attention, so even if he were being negligent, that's not a good way to handle this situation. I would bet that if you decide to be be understanding for a few weeks, took the pressure off week-day demands, and didn't expect him to tell you he loves you, you'd find out how much he really cares. People have a tendency to get defensive (backed up against the wall) when they are called to the mat - - when they do, or don't have a valid excuse for the way they behave. Your frustration mounts when he doesn't answer your calls, but that tells me you're too persistent and almost obnoxious about it. You didn't say he was a bad guy, and he probably has some good attributes. In that case, remembering what you have to lose is the best way to hold your tongue. That said, look for signs, when you are together, of him not showing the interest he had before. Six months together is a little too early to lose steam if this relationship has real merit.
