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No Options?
- By Miss Emily
- Published 02/5/2011
- Relationships - Teens
Hi Emily,
I'm 19 years old, and my boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years...however, as I expected, it's not been an easy journey -- but that I was prepared for. We have literally been through hell and back. He lost his dad, me my grandmother and, now, I feel as if I want to spend the rest of my life with him and he simply wants a companion. I don't know what to do or how to get the relationship I want. Leaving isn't an option. I can't leave him. Please help me.
-----------------------------------Miss Emily's advice--------------------------
You are very sweet, but you are allowing him to, essentially, control how this relationship plays out because you said leaving him is not an option. And in light of that, things are going to remain in the status quo territory until he chooses to change it. That said, he is doing nothing wrong by telling you that this is the way he wants things to be. You and he have gone through a great deal together, and with the loss of family members, both of you probably feel a little numb, right now. But there is no magic wand, and time is the only thing that will decide where this relationship will go. Sometimes love simply isn't enough when it comes to choosing a life partner. You certainly don't want to force the issue, because that will drive him away. As it stands, he can't give more. Perhaps that will change in time, but be realistic about your future. If he doesn't come around, and that's a possibility you have to face, remember that you have your whole life ahead of you. The outcome of it cannot, or should not be determined by the choices that others make for you. You have choices too, and they should be ones that complement your life -- better your life -- and not drag it down.
I'm 19 years old, and my boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years...however, as I expected, it's not been an easy journey -- but that I was prepared for. We have literally been through hell and back. He lost his dad, me my grandmother and, now, I feel as if I want to spend the rest of my life with him and he simply wants a companion. I don't know what to do or how to get the relationship I want. Leaving isn't an option. I can't leave him. Please help me.
-----------------------------------Miss Emily's advice--------------------------
You are very sweet, but you are allowing him to, essentially, control how this relationship plays out because you said leaving him is not an option. And in light of that, things are going to remain in the status quo territory until he chooses to change it. That said, he is doing nothing wrong by telling you that this is the way he wants things to be. You and he have gone through a great deal together, and with the loss of family members, both of you probably feel a little numb, right now. But there is no magic wand, and time is the only thing that will decide where this relationship will go. Sometimes love simply isn't enough when it comes to choosing a life partner. You certainly don't want to force the issue, because that will drive him away. As it stands, he can't give more. Perhaps that will change in time, but be realistic about your future. If he doesn't come around, and that's a possibility you have to face, remember that you have your whole life ahead of you. The outcome of it cannot, or should not be determined by the choices that others make for you. You have choices too, and they should be ones that complement your life -- better your life -- and not drag it down.
