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- Sarcasm: A Verbal Weapon
Sarcasm: A Verbal Weapon
- By Miss Emily
- Published 01/29/2011
- Relationships - Women
Dear Miss Emily:
My boyfriend and I have communication issues (mostly because of the way that I speak to him). We will start talking about an issue that either one of us has and it turns into an argument about how I am sarcastic (which I don't mean to be) and can't speak to him respectfully. I didn't get it when we were in the middle of the argument. He asked me to move out, and it has given me time to think and reflect on our relationship. I get it now, I see it, as if a light bulb came on. I have been reading about learning to communicate better and tell my boyfriend that I am trying. He says he doesn't believe me, because I have told him that before. But it's different now, I am not with him all the time, anymore, and we went a good amount of time not speaking to each other. I REALLY do get it! What can I do or say to him to prove to him that I am trying and willing to change for the better and that I want to work it out with him?
-------------------------------Miss Emily's advice--------------------------
I'm not sure you can. When someone has had enough, there's little you can do to change his, or her mind. Sarcasm can be a big problem in relationships, obviously. It's a sharp tool used where others are left defenseless. It doesn't make people change their ways, it only serves to drive a wedge in the relationship. It usually comes from a "place" a state of mind that is either one (or all) of defensiveness, an insensitivity to others feelings, or a belief that there is only one way to think -- your way! If you have truly found the source of it, I hope you can correct this in future relationships. In terms of this one, he would have to come to you in order to give you "one more chance." I am sure you have conveyed to him, many times, that you want a fresh start. Now the ball's in his court. Were he not to lobe it back, you simply have to lick your wounds, and move on with your new attitude.
My boyfriend and I have communication issues (mostly because of the way that I speak to him). We will start talking about an issue that either one of us has and it turns into an argument about how I am sarcastic (which I don't mean to be) and can't speak to him respectfully. I didn't get it when we were in the middle of the argument. He asked me to move out, and it has given me time to think and reflect on our relationship. I get it now, I see it, as if a light bulb came on. I have been reading about learning to communicate better and tell my boyfriend that I am trying. He says he doesn't believe me, because I have told him that before. But it's different now, I am not with him all the time, anymore, and we went a good amount of time not speaking to each other. I REALLY do get it! What can I do or say to him to prove to him that I am trying and willing to change for the better and that I want to work it out with him?
-------------------------------Miss Emily's advice--------------------------
I'm not sure you can. When someone has had enough, there's little you can do to change his, or her mind. Sarcasm can be a big problem in relationships, obviously. It's a sharp tool used where others are left defenseless. It doesn't make people change their ways, it only serves to drive a wedge in the relationship. It usually comes from a "place" a state of mind that is either one (or all) of defensiveness, an insensitivity to others feelings, or a belief that there is only one way to think -- your way! If you have truly found the source of it, I hope you can correct this in future relationships. In terms of this one, he would have to come to you in order to give you "one more chance." I am sure you have conveyed to him, many times, that you want a fresh start. Now the ball's in his court. Were he not to lobe it back, you simply have to lick your wounds, and move on with your new attitude.
