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- The Meaning of Friendship
The Meaning of Friendship
- By Miss Emily
- Published 01/29/2011
- Relationships - Teens
Emily:
Hello, im 14 and my best friend recently flipped out on me saying things like "all of your friends talk behind your back." I do not know what to do, whether I should try to solve the problem or forget about it. She gets really mean, at times, and I don't know if she is a real friend or not. Please I need your help!
-----------------------------Miss Emily's advice--------------------------
My knee-jerk reaction is to say to her "Well, then, pass on to these friends that I give my permission for them to say what they think of me to my face. You seem to have no problem doing it." If she gets really mean, at times, then she is incapable of airing her grievances with you in a rational manner, or she has issues with herself and she's projecting them on to you. If you feel comfortable that you are a good friend to all you know, and there is really no reason for her to be angry other than her own frustrations, or jealousy toward you, I would let her know that you have done everything to be a good friend. And if she finds fault with you, it is her right to walk away and you won't hold her back. Remember, this age is one of hormones raging, and friendships are often trial-and-error. But you seem mature and capable of sifting out those who have your best interest at heart, and those who don't. Trust your instincts. She simply may have issues with you that are her own making and there is little you can do to quell her insecurities. As well, know when to walk away when a friend saps you of your time and energy, and you have little left for yourself or others. Some people will simply develop friendship dependencies to fill a horrible void in their own lives. Friendship is a give-and-take. When the balance shifts too far in the negative, it needs to be addressed. And if the problems cannot be solved, let the friendship go.
Hello, im 14 and my best friend recently flipped out on me saying things like "all of your friends talk behind your back." I do not know what to do, whether I should try to solve the problem or forget about it. She gets really mean, at times, and I don't know if she is a real friend or not. Please I need your help!
-----------------------------Miss Emily's advice--------------------------
My knee-jerk reaction is to say to her "Well, then, pass on to these friends that I give my permission for them to say what they think of me to my face. You seem to have no problem doing it." If she gets really mean, at times, then she is incapable of airing her grievances with you in a rational manner, or she has issues with herself and she's projecting them on to you. If you feel comfortable that you are a good friend to all you know, and there is really no reason for her to be angry other than her own frustrations, or jealousy toward you, I would let her know that you have done everything to be a good friend. And if she finds fault with you, it is her right to walk away and you won't hold her back. Remember, this age is one of hormones raging, and friendships are often trial-and-error. But you seem mature and capable of sifting out those who have your best interest at heart, and those who don't. Trust your instincts. She simply may have issues with you that are her own making and there is little you can do to quell her insecurities. As well, know when to walk away when a friend saps you of your time and energy, and you have little left for yourself or others. Some people will simply develop friendship dependencies to fill a horrible void in their own lives. Friendship is a give-and-take. When the balance shifts too far in the negative, it needs to be addressed. And if the problems cannot be solved, let the friendship go.
