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Weekend In Italy?
- By Miss Emily
- Published 01/20/2011
- Relationships - Women
Dear Miss Emily:
I'm learning Italian and I met an Italian on-line many months ago through a Language Exchange Website who wanted to improve his English, so we have been engaged in a 'tandem' language exchange since the end of September (so nearly 3 1/2 months). We speak almost daily on Skype (though since mid-December it's been a bit erratic due to our busy schedules)..... but the communication has been constant, all under the premise of improving our language skills. Here is where I am confused. We have SO much in common. We're both in our 30's. We share similar interests, outlooks on life and even similar goals. We clearly enjoy chatting to each other. We seem to have chemistry, and I am certainly attracted to him. He has subtly flirted with me in the past (to which I probably haven't been responsive enough, which might have been my downfall but I was a bit scared to go down that road given we are so far apart, he is in Italy, I am in Australia). He doesn't flirt as much now, but he still seems interested in maintaining our relationship. I just can't work out if that interest is solely to learn a new language, or because he is actually interested in me romantically. I have also noticed that since October, he no longer logs onto the Language Exchange Website. Although I was on the other side of the world, I have recently moved to the same continent (though not the same country), which makes meeting up more viable. I've also told him, or even hinted, that I can't wait to make weekend trips to Italy, hoping he would suggest meeting. I just don't know whether to suggest a meeting, or wait for him to suggest it? We have never broached that subject of even meeting in person. I know him well enough to know he is not a psychopath, he is definitely genuine, and a gentleman... but where do I take it from here??? Would love to hear your advice, experience and thoughts on this. Thanks in advance
-----------------------------Miss Emily's advice-----------------------------
"Nothing ventured, nothing gained" comes to mind after reading your e-mail. I see absolutely no problem with you saying you'd like to come visit him in Italy -- and give him some dates you are available. You're not suggesting anything more than a friendly face-to-face visit with a man you've had a great deal of correspondence. If he has an excuse -- says he's busy right now, okay. That tells you all you need to know. Perhaps there's a part of his life that he keeps to himself, but you don't know that, and it's worth giving this your best shot. You go, girl! Let me know how it turns out.
I'm learning Italian and I met an Italian on-line many months ago through a Language Exchange Website who wanted to improve his English, so we have been engaged in a 'tandem' language exchange since the end of September (so nearly 3 1/2 months). We speak almost daily on Skype (though since mid-December it's been a bit erratic due to our busy schedules)..... but the communication has been constant, all under the premise of improving our language skills. Here is where I am confused. We have SO much in common. We're both in our 30's. We share similar interests, outlooks on life and even similar goals. We clearly enjoy chatting to each other. We seem to have chemistry, and I am certainly attracted to him. He has subtly flirted with me in the past (to which I probably haven't been responsive enough, which might have been my downfall but I was a bit scared to go down that road given we are so far apart, he is in Italy, I am in Australia). He doesn't flirt as much now, but he still seems interested in maintaining our relationship. I just can't work out if that interest is solely to learn a new language, or because he is actually interested in me romantically. I have also noticed that since October, he no longer logs onto the Language Exchange Website. Although I was on the other side of the world, I have recently moved to the same continent (though not the same country), which makes meeting up more viable. I've also told him, or even hinted, that I can't wait to make weekend trips to Italy, hoping he would suggest meeting. I just don't know whether to suggest a meeting, or wait for him to suggest it? We have never broached that subject of even meeting in person. I know him well enough to know he is not a psychopath, he is definitely genuine, and a gentleman... but where do I take it from here??? Would love to hear your advice, experience and thoughts on this. Thanks in advance
-----------------------------Miss Emily's advice-----------------------------
"Nothing ventured, nothing gained" comes to mind after reading your e-mail. I see absolutely no problem with you saying you'd like to come visit him in Italy -- and give him some dates you are available. You're not suggesting anything more than a friendly face-to-face visit with a man you've had a great deal of correspondence. If he has an excuse -- says he's busy right now, okay. That tells you all you need to know. Perhaps there's a part of his life that he keeps to himself, but you don't know that, and it's worth giving this your best shot. You go, girl! Let me know how it turns out.
