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- He Deserves The Truth
He Deserves The Truth
- By Miss Emily
- Published 01/15/2011
- Relationships - Teens
Dear Miss Emily,
My problem started this summer when I liked two guys at once. I picked one over the other (who is a close friend) because I thought I owed it to him to give him a chance... He'd sent me flowers and was very sweet. For the past three months we've been dating, but I have still liked the other guy. My liking for my boyfriend is fading and I still really like the other guy. I don't know what to do because I care a lot about my boyfriend, but i don't want to be dating him anymore. I know it'll hurt him so much and he really does not deserve it. He hasn't done anything wrong, but I still just hate feeling obligated to hangout with him. I don't think he realizes anything is wrong. We still are not that comfortable together because we tend to shrug off arguments and try not to talk about certain things. It's going to be awkward to break up with him for one thing... and I am scared I will regret it or feel extremely guilty... What should I do?
--------------------------------------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------------------------------
Regret and guilt are two wasted emotions. Regret doesn't allow you to go back and change the past, nor guilt -- and guilt is often nothing more than not owning up to your true feelings. You do this boy no favors by deceiving him. You shouldn't have that kind of power -- where you can have feelings for someone else, but pity him because he doesn't match-up to what you want in a boyfriend. That doesn't mean he's a loser. You have to look at him as an equal, not some pet who needs walking, and the water bowl filled, and if you're not there to do it, he will die. Stop being gutless and tell him you don't have the feelings for him that he deserves, and you can't treat him with disrespect by not telling him the truth. He'll get over it, and if he doesn't, he's a needy kid who has issues with insecurity that you can't fix, and couldn't by staying with him. You simply don't have "those" feelings for him, and you shouldn't hedge your bets by staying with him just because this may leave you single.
My problem started this summer when I liked two guys at once. I picked one over the other (who is a close friend) because I thought I owed it to him to give him a chance... He'd sent me flowers and was very sweet. For the past three months we've been dating, but I have still liked the other guy. My liking for my boyfriend is fading and I still really like the other guy. I don't know what to do because I care a lot about my boyfriend, but i don't want to be dating him anymore. I know it'll hurt him so much and he really does not deserve it. He hasn't done anything wrong, but I still just hate feeling obligated to hangout with him. I don't think he realizes anything is wrong. We still are not that comfortable together because we tend to shrug off arguments and try not to talk about certain things. It's going to be awkward to break up with him for one thing... and I am scared I will regret it or feel extremely guilty... What should I do?
--------------------------------------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------------------------------
Regret and guilt are two wasted emotions. Regret doesn't allow you to go back and change the past, nor guilt -- and guilt is often nothing more than not owning up to your true feelings. You do this boy no favors by deceiving him. You shouldn't have that kind of power -- where you can have feelings for someone else, but pity him because he doesn't match-up to what you want in a boyfriend. That doesn't mean he's a loser. You have to look at him as an equal, not some pet who needs walking, and the water bowl filled, and if you're not there to do it, he will die. Stop being gutless and tell him you don't have the feelings for him that he deserves, and you can't treat him with disrespect by not telling him the truth. He'll get over it, and if he doesn't, he's a needy kid who has issues with insecurity that you can't fix, and couldn't by staying with him. You simply don't have "those" feelings for him, and you shouldn't hedge your bets by staying with him just because this may leave you single.
