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Med-student Relationship Dilemma
- By Miss Emily
- Published 01/15/2011
- Relationships - Men
Dear Miss Emily:
I'm a first year medical student. I broke up with this girl a long time ago but haven't been able to get over her since then. It's hard for me to find time to get out and meet new people so I can actually try to move on, so I always seem to revert back to the ex and try to get her back -- but always get rejected. How can I move on and find closure?
-----------------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------------------
A first year medical student -- and for some years to come, will demand most of your time and you will, more than likely, be stretched thin in the ability to give too much of yourself during this period. You didn't mention why you broke up with her, but I assume it was for some valid reasons. How you find closure is accepting those reasons, and admitting to yourself that you are simply lonely, now, and ache to fill the void. You think reaching into the past can magically fill it. But even if she did take you back, there are time limitations to how much of yourself you can give to a relationship. Perhaps you have some misplaced guilt, as well, coupled with a normal desire for affection and lack of anyone to replace her. Learn to manage you time, understand that a visit back into history is nothing more than an opportunity to repeat it, and face the facts of your life and the goals you have set for yourself. This is a hard program you are in, now, and it takes most of your energy to keep up your grades. You must admit you don't have a great deal of time to nurture a relationship, period. I would seek a relationship with someone who is going through much of what you are. Once you find someone who understands that "togetherness" is a scarce commodity because of your workload, and quality rather than quantity is what you have to offer, I think you can move on with some grace and ease and not continue this pity party.
I'm a first year medical student. I broke up with this girl a long time ago but haven't been able to get over her since then. It's hard for me to find time to get out and meet new people so I can actually try to move on, so I always seem to revert back to the ex and try to get her back -- but always get rejected. How can I move on and find closure?
-----------------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------------------
A first year medical student -- and for some years to come, will demand most of your time and you will, more than likely, be stretched thin in the ability to give too much of yourself during this period. You didn't mention why you broke up with her, but I assume it was for some valid reasons. How you find closure is accepting those reasons, and admitting to yourself that you are simply lonely, now, and ache to fill the void. You think reaching into the past can magically fill it. But even if she did take you back, there are time limitations to how much of yourself you can give to a relationship. Perhaps you have some misplaced guilt, as well, coupled with a normal desire for affection and lack of anyone to replace her. Learn to manage you time, understand that a visit back into history is nothing more than an opportunity to repeat it, and face the facts of your life and the goals you have set for yourself. This is a hard program you are in, now, and it takes most of your energy to keep up your grades. You must admit you don't have a great deal of time to nurture a relationship, period. I would seek a relationship with someone who is going through much of what you are. Once you find someone who understands that "togetherness" is a scarce commodity because of your workload, and quality rather than quantity is what you have to offer, I think you can move on with some grace and ease and not continue this pity party.
