I've been friends with this bloke for about 4 years, and he has helped me with the break up of my previous relationship and so much other stuff. Last year my feelings for him began to change. We had always been quite flirty toward one another but I was falling for him. We began seeing each other a couple of times a month, and it was the best feeling when he was with me, but i knew he had a girlfriend back at home, however, I still continued. I decided to tell him just before Christmas how much I liked him and his reply wasn't what I expected. I knew he wouldn't leave her for me but he has said that when he becomes single, I would be the first to know. I decided that we should stop seeing each other in that way because I was getting so upset all the time. But when he came over last week things happened again. I told him it can't happen again and he agreed that we would just be friends. I don't want to stop seeing him, but I know what I'm doing is wrong (in a way I'm kind of hoping that by me not seeing him, he will leave his girlfriend and want to be with me. What a horrible person i must be!!) When I'm with him he makes me feel so special, like I'm the only person in the world, I have very low self confidence and I don't have many friends, and he has always tried to help me with that. I just don't think he realizes that I'm only low when i don't see or hear from him. Since the weekend, I've not heard from him. It's hurting and I just don't know what to do anymore :-(

-----------------------------------------------Miss Emily's advice---------------------------------------

You're not a horrible person, but because of your low self-esteem it's all the more reason why you should resist your impulse to get involved with him on a romantic level. Although flattering that you'll be the "first to know" when, or if he ditches his girlfriend, I don't think you should risk the heartbreaking experience of getting more involved with him when this is only a token gesture on his part. Other than my suggestion to work on your low self-esteem in order to have an equal relationship in any upcoming relationship, I suggest you maintain the friendship but be stalwart in you "not seeing him in that way." If you were to continue on this level, he will only  to be tempted to take advantage of your vulnerabilities -- and ones that he is fully aware. He's human. Be chipper, and friendly, but be resolute. It's character building, as well as it bolsters your self-confidence -- and you need that right now. I do admire the fact that you were able to tell him how you feel. That took courage, and you should capitalize on that.