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Suicide Threat From Boyfriend
- By Miss Emily
- Published 01/3/2011
- Relationships - Teens
Hi Emily,
My boyfriend and I have been going out for three months. He is kinda sensitive. Things aren't working for me, but I am scared to break up with him because he might hurt himself. He has threatened killing himself before. I just want him to be happy but I know we won't work. How can I break up with him without him being so crushed or thinking about suicide? I know he would seriously consider killing himself. Or is there a way to get him to break up with me so its his idea? I'm just so depressed about all of this, and I am in need of some desperate help! Please help me. Thanks!!
-------------------------------Miss Emily's advice--------------------------
You didn't mention your age, but I assume you're a teen? I get many letters like this, and it leads me to believe that this problem is pretty common. You can't be held hostage to his threats. He's obviously not being rational. But if you're worried he might do something, I think you need to tell a parent, or someone of authority. It serves no purpose for you to enable him, and it is not helping him by using suicide as a threat to keep you in his control. Bottom line: If you think he is really a danger to himself, you need to tell someone so he can get the help he needs. Please know that his problems go a lot deeper than a break-up with you, and if he were to follow through on taking his life, you would only be an example, not the cause, of why he thinks nothing goes right in his life. His depression and despondency is part of who he is -- and you can't fix it by staying with him. This is his battle, and getting help is the only way for him to get better. And no, I don't think there's a good way for you to make him want him to break up with you. Anything you would tell him to make yourself look undesirable might be subject to him telling others. That only muddies the waters for you, and you don't deserve the backlash. You've done nothing wrong, and you simply cannot feel guilty about it. He's a troubled boy.
My boyfriend and I have been going out for three months. He is kinda sensitive. Things aren't working for me, but I am scared to break up with him because he might hurt himself. He has threatened killing himself before. I just want him to be happy but I know we won't work. How can I break up with him without him being so crushed or thinking about suicide? I know he would seriously consider killing himself. Or is there a way to get him to break up with me so its his idea? I'm just so depressed about all of this, and I am in need of some desperate help! Please help me. Thanks!!
-------------------------------Miss Emily's advice--------------------------
You didn't mention your age, but I assume you're a teen? I get many letters like this, and it leads me to believe that this problem is pretty common. You can't be held hostage to his threats. He's obviously not being rational. But if you're worried he might do something, I think you need to tell a parent, or someone of authority. It serves no purpose for you to enable him, and it is not helping him by using suicide as a threat to keep you in his control. Bottom line: If you think he is really a danger to himself, you need to tell someone so he can get the help he needs. Please know that his problems go a lot deeper than a break-up with you, and if he were to follow through on taking his life, you would only be an example, not the cause, of why he thinks nothing goes right in his life. His depression and despondency is part of who he is -- and you can't fix it by staying with him. This is his battle, and getting help is the only way for him to get better. And no, I don't think there's a good way for you to make him want him to break up with you. Anything you would tell him to make yourself look undesirable might be subject to him telling others. That only muddies the waters for you, and you don't deserve the backlash. You've done nothing wrong, and you simply cannot feel guilty about it. He's a troubled boy.
