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She Wants More Than Best Friend Relationship
- By Miss Emily
- Published 12/30/2010
- Relationships - Women
Hi Emily!
I really need your advice. My best friend got married to this guy about 6 months ago. He and I became good friends seeing that she and I hung-out a lot. But recently they got divorced, and she moved away. She and I lost contact, so we don't talk anymore but he and I, on the other hand, still talked and I was there for him when she left him. He was very upset one night, and so he and I went to the bar and had a few too many drinks and ended up having sex. But now I'm falling for him. I seriously think I'm in love with him. I can't stop thinking about him, and every girl he talks to makes me jealous. I told him how I felt, and he told me that he likes me a lot but doesn't want to be with me because I'm his best friend and he doesn't want to lose me as a friend. What should I do because I can't stop thinking about him, and it hurts so bad that I can't be with him. Should I stop being friends with him so I can get over him? Or what should I do?
-----------------------------Miss Emily's advice---------------------------
He pretty much laid it on the line to you. You need only cut him off if having a friendship relationship, with boundaries you set, is not within your capabilities. And that is a choice only you can make. If he still wanted to, occasionally, have sex, yet maintained that you and he only had a friendship, it would reinforce the fact he didn't have strong enough feelings for you to commit to a relationship. And where would that leave you? I'm guessing with a broken heart. I think it's too soon off his quicky marriage to his ex to even consider having a serious relationship with you, or anyone else for that matter. I would choose to listen to him, and proceed with caution if you continue the frienship. If he changes his mind about wanting more than friendship, I'm sure he'll let you know.
I really need your advice. My best friend got married to this guy about 6 months ago. He and I became good friends seeing that she and I hung-out a lot. But recently they got divorced, and she moved away. She and I lost contact, so we don't talk anymore but he and I, on the other hand, still talked and I was there for him when she left him. He was very upset one night, and so he and I went to the bar and had a few too many drinks and ended up having sex. But now I'm falling for him. I seriously think I'm in love with him. I can't stop thinking about him, and every girl he talks to makes me jealous. I told him how I felt, and he told me that he likes me a lot but doesn't want to be with me because I'm his best friend and he doesn't want to lose me as a friend. What should I do because I can't stop thinking about him, and it hurts so bad that I can't be with him. Should I stop being friends with him so I can get over him? Or what should I do?
-----------------------------Miss Emily's advice---------------------------
He pretty much laid it on the line to you. You need only cut him off if having a friendship relationship, with boundaries you set, is not within your capabilities. And that is a choice only you can make. If he still wanted to, occasionally, have sex, yet maintained that you and he only had a friendship, it would reinforce the fact he didn't have strong enough feelings for you to commit to a relationship. And where would that leave you? I'm guessing with a broken heart. I think it's too soon off his quicky marriage to his ex to even consider having a serious relationship with you, or anyone else for that matter. I would choose to listen to him, and proceed with caution if you continue the frienship. If he changes his mind about wanting more than friendship, I'm sure he'll let you know.
