Miss Emily,

I am in a bit of a muddle. I am in this relationship for 4and a half years with this guy. He is not single. He stays with me every night, and we go on holidays like a normal couple -- but his mum and dad still do not know about us. He still has the house with this girl. But now i went out and got very drunk, and I really do not remember much. Now he has come back and said I kissed another bloke, for which I cannot remember doing. Should I fight for this man, or let him go as he still got ties with the other woman?

-------------------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------------------

Okay, so you're completely unsatisfied with not being able to have an open relationship with him, right? 4 1/2 years has led to no more than a habit, without a future. Perhaps this supposed "kiss" should be seen as a wake-up call to you -- despite you not remembering it, nor a true understanding of why this would be such a big deal to a man who has a live-in girlfriend!  Find out what it is you want, and if this guy is always going to be unavailable to you for an open relationship, I think what happened is a good thing. He shows a complete lack of courage in his life, and he's selfish to think he can lead one of duplicity. But he gets what he wants, as long as he wants, because you've allowed it.  I'd let him go. Only then will you find out how much you mean to him.