- Home
- Relationships - Women
- Time To Face The Facts?
Time To Face The Facts?
- By Miss Emily
- Published 12/28/2010
- Relationships - Women
Dear Miss Emily:
My
parents don't really care for my boyfriend. I defied them, anyway, and I'm still with him. We've been together for 4 yrs already. It has just
passed Xmas. I got him several presents and he didn't even bother to get
me one thing given that he just lost his job. But doesn't being
together for more then 4 yrs means anything? I'm didn't ask for a car, or
a house or anything remotely close to that -- just something special that makes me feel special cause I do it for him. I'm going back to work
tomorrow, and my coworkers are gonna ask "What he
get you?" What answer can I give without making him look like the
shittiest boyfriend ever? Bad enough, most of the people in my life don't like
him. He always finds excuses to not do something, or just show up empty
handed. I pay for mostly everything like movies, dinner, etc. He's
sweet in other ways but never action to show it -- just talk. Is he just a
deadbeat?
-------------------------------------------------Miss Emily's advice------------------------------------
Yes, he's a deadbeat, and he's used to you putting up with it -- because you're still in the picture. I'm sure it wasn't always this bad, but relationships take work to keep the embers burning -- and he didn't get the memo. I suspect if you told him you've decided to end the relationship he'd ask "Why?" as if he hasn't a clue to what you're talking about. But playing dumb is a tactic because, unless he's an idiot, he probably feels inadequate. Perhaps you haven't asked for more, or he never saw fit to challenge himself to step-up to the plate and be a man whom you can truly respect. But it's up to you. You can't complain about him, yet do nothing to change your situation. I'd think long and hard on how much more time you want to spend in what seems like a relationship that may have gone on way past its shelf-life. That said, it's not totally hopeless if you think it's worth trying to turn it around, and he's capable of making some concrete changes in his attitude, and behavior. But you want a guy with some grit, and who understands the meaning of what it is to be a man, right? Apparently, friends and family want the same for you. So far he seems more like a "sweet" brother, who's also a dependent.
-------------------------------------------------Miss Emily's advice------------------------------------
Yes, he's a deadbeat, and he's used to you putting up with it -- because you're still in the picture. I'm sure it wasn't always this bad, but relationships take work to keep the embers burning -- and he didn't get the memo. I suspect if you told him you've decided to end the relationship he'd ask "Why?" as if he hasn't a clue to what you're talking about. But playing dumb is a tactic because, unless he's an idiot, he probably feels inadequate. Perhaps you haven't asked for more, or he never saw fit to challenge himself to step-up to the plate and be a man whom you can truly respect. But it's up to you. You can't complain about him, yet do nothing to change your situation. I'd think long and hard on how much more time you want to spend in what seems like a relationship that may have gone on way past its shelf-life. That said, it's not totally hopeless if you think it's worth trying to turn it around, and he's capable of making some concrete changes in his attitude, and behavior. But you want a guy with some grit, and who understands the meaning of what it is to be a man, right? Apparently, friends and family want the same for you. So far he seems more like a "sweet" brother, who's also a dependent.
