So I met this guy and we hit if off so well. He has had a girl friend since he was 16 --his first girlfriend and he is almost 20 (next month). We secretly I M for a long time and some how he got my number and we began to text also, secretly. He and his girlfriend have been having a lot of problems, and I am always there to comfort him and keep his mind off it, whether it be playing catch or watching sports or talking. We began to hang out at his apartment with his roommates and sometimes I stay there really late and we began to become more fond of each other and kiss, and more, but promised ourselves to not have intercourse. Well, yesterday, we decided to get away from his roommates so we could talk about the situation, and so we went to a near empty parking lot. He assured me I meant so much to him and cared for me more then he thinks I know. He would love to be with me because he could see us being extremely happy, for we have so much in common and it kills him that he doesn't know what to do. He loves his girlfriend and has never cheated on her before and has had plenty of chances. He can't understand why he fell for me so fast and hard like he did. I stayed with him last night because we just had so much to talk about. He kept asking what I wanted, and I told him that I wanted him happy and no one but my self to be hurt -- so I told him I think he should stay with her and try harder to be a better boyfriend and us stop what we do. He knows I am hurt, and it hurts him to let go. He does not regret it, and even said  if things don't work out he is going to run to me taken, or not because he is holding back what he feels because he knows the words shouldn't be said. I did tell him to not listen to me, but take his heart's advice, but did I tell him the right thing or does he need to let her go? Can you give me advice on what I should do now and if I should tell him anything.

------------------------------------------Miss Emily's advice--------------------------------

From my point of view, you did the right thing -- and not just because this was all going on behind this girl's back, but you stood to be more deeply wounded if he were allowed to maintain the status quo with her, yet continue to see you, secretly. Telling him to break up with her would have been appropriate only if you followed it with, "because that is the only way I will see you -- if our relationship can be out in the open."  A girl that has a relationship with a guy who is in another relationship, will still feel like last night's leftovers no matter how much he contends that she is the one. It's pretty simple, if you're the one, he needs to man-up, do the right thing, and let his girlfriend go in order for her to find a guy whom she can trust, and is faithful to her. There's no guarantee that a relationship will work out with him for the long-haul, but you'd need him to have a clean slate for any relationship with him to have a fighting chance. He's been with this girl since he was 16. It's his first love, and it will not be easy for him to let go of her. I am proud of you, in that you were able to cut it off with him, knowing the consequences of your and his actions. You're smart to realize that getting more involved with him, under these circumstances, will only cause you more pain.