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Teens Get Touchy-Feely
- By Miss Emily
- Published 12/20/2010
- Relationships - Teens
Dear Miss Emily,
I'm 17 years old. I've liked this guy for about 3 years. And, well, lately things have gotten different. He had a girlfriend of 2 months who broke up a couple weeks ago. So now he's single. Well 3 days ago me, him, and some other friends went to the mall. He was very touchy. He kept touching me and kept giving me lots of hugs. It was really fun though. It felt good to just hold him. I was even sitting on his lap. He even asked why I didn't give him hugs at school which I told him I didn't know he wanted me too. Now I hug him every time I see him at school. Normally, he didn't touch me that much. But I'm not complaining about the new him.. And, well, yesterday, we and some friends went to a friend's house to watch a scary movie. I sat next to him. For the whole movie we held hands. We were basically on top of each other cause of how close we were. And for most of the movie our heads were leaning on each other. It was so amazing and it just felt nice. And my one friend told me that it looks like he likes me, but I don't know. This has happened many times where it looks like he's interested, but then ends up dating another girl. I just don't want to get my hopes up to high. But I would really want to go out with him. I would love if this time actually worked. I just don't know how to make it happen. But does it even seem like he's interested? Thank you so much for the help.
-------------------------------------------------Ask Miss Emily---------------------------------------
Yes, it shows he's interested, but to what degree it's hard to say at this point. I think this kind of behavior can be tolerated for only a brief period before you begin to feel like just a buddy with touching rights -- and hurt feelings enter the picture. I'd see where this goes in the next couple of weeks, but if nothing happens -- and his and your behavior is stuck in the 'touchy-feely' mode, you're going to have to be brave and tell him, "I know I've been on-board with how things are between us, but I'd like our relationship to move to the next level. If you aren't interested, that's okay, but we'll have to stop this affectionate behavior." You have absolutely nothing to lose. He needs to take responsibility for his actions, and so do you. Girls only get "used" when they allow it. It takes courage to do this, but courage is something better learned at your age so you can get what you want out of life -- rather than have it directed by someone else. If that happens, all you'll do is complain -- when the truth is, you had every opportunity to change it, but didn't.
I'm 17 years old. I've liked this guy for about 3 years. And, well, lately things have gotten different. He had a girlfriend of 2 months who broke up a couple weeks ago. So now he's single. Well 3 days ago me, him, and some other friends went to the mall. He was very touchy. He kept touching me and kept giving me lots of hugs. It was really fun though. It felt good to just hold him. I was even sitting on his lap. He even asked why I didn't give him hugs at school which I told him I didn't know he wanted me too. Now I hug him every time I see him at school. Normally, he didn't touch me that much. But I'm not complaining about the new him.. And, well, yesterday, we and some friends went to a friend's house to watch a scary movie. I sat next to him. For the whole movie we held hands. We were basically on top of each other cause of how close we were. And for most of the movie our heads were leaning on each other. It was so amazing and it just felt nice. And my one friend told me that it looks like he likes me, but I don't know. This has happened many times where it looks like he's interested, but then ends up dating another girl. I just don't want to get my hopes up to high. But I would really want to go out with him. I would love if this time actually worked. I just don't know how to make it happen. But does it even seem like he's interested? Thank you so much for the help.
-------------------------------------------------Ask Miss Emily---------------------------------------
Yes, it shows he's interested, but to what degree it's hard to say at this point. I think this kind of behavior can be tolerated for only a brief period before you begin to feel like just a buddy with touching rights -- and hurt feelings enter the picture. I'd see where this goes in the next couple of weeks, but if nothing happens -- and his and your behavior is stuck in the 'touchy-feely' mode, you're going to have to be brave and tell him, "I know I've been on-board with how things are between us, but I'd like our relationship to move to the next level. If you aren't interested, that's okay, but we'll have to stop this affectionate behavior." You have absolutely nothing to lose. He needs to take responsibility for his actions, and so do you. Girls only get "used" when they allow it. It takes courage to do this, but courage is something better learned at your age so you can get what you want out of life -- rather than have it directed by someone else. If that happens, all you'll do is complain -- when the truth is, you had every opportunity to change it, but didn't.
