I've been in a committed relationship for a year. My boyfriend dated a girl for a very short time before me. They have known each other for about 6 years, so they continue to remain really close friends. But, recently, I had to send out a mail from his inbox where I came across a mail to her with a song dedication. In the mail he mentioned she was the first person he thought of while listening to the song. I asked him why he sent a mail like that, he said that his feelings which were suppressed came out suddenly and he had to express it. He did tell me that it doesn't mean he doesn't love me anymore. He doesn't even understand why he did that. I'm somehow unable to get this out of my head. It hurts so much considering the fact that I never stopped him from talking to her. Please, advice!
Was it a love song? I think that would say something if it were. Are you a part of this friendship? If you were to go back and read the many letters I've written concerning this very matter, I always tell the person that she (he) should be included in the friendship if it's a committed relationship she is in. He cannot have anything to hide, and you should be his first consideration. There is nothing wrong with having friends of the opposite sex, but you can't feel like an outsider when you view this type of personal information. Suppressed feelings? Suppressed until the song rang a bell that this was on the jukebox when they were at a bar together on one of their fun dates? Okay, that would be acceptable, but not if he still pines for those days. It may not be anything, but keep a watchful eye for a sign of 'other' suppressed feelings coming to the surface. Avoid, however, obsessing over this one incident. You had access to his in-box and that is important to note.
