Dear Miss Emily:

I have this close guy friend who likes a girl in our class, and she likes him too, but he doesn't make any moves on her because he claims he is not 'hormonal'. I just know that they are meant for each other but the guy just thinks he's not good enough for her -- and now there's this other guy she doesn't like, but he keeps on making moves on her. I think he's the one winning, but I know he shouldn't be. What advice should I give to my guy friend?

-----------------------Miss Emily's advice------------------

I think he's not ready, period. Hormonal, or not, he's emotionally incapable, it would seem, of taking the next step. I'm sure you've told him all the reasons to go for it and have tried to build his self-confidence, but it has to come from within. It's of little help if he's fearful of what to do if she did respond in kind. Courage is not innate. This is a learning curve for him, and I would suspect that once the hormones do reach a fever pitch, he'll eventually take the plunge with a girl. In cases where a person fears rejection, I usually tell him (or her) that he is not alone -- and few people haven't experienced it. But in this case, you think this girl likes him and he is the only one holding back this relationship from moving forward. So. . . now you know you've done all you can, let it go. I think he'll want you to at some time, because to dwell on it will only increase his sense of not measuring up.