Dear Miss Emily:

My boyfriend and I have been together about a year, and live together. We both have kids from previous marriages.  I told him in the beginning I didn't mind porn, or that he watched it.  But now he watches it all the time, and it really bothers me. It bothers me because he lies about it and tries to hide it. He's always watching on his computer and his phone. He won't ever let me near his stuff but it's easy to tell what he's doing. If I mention it, he gets defensive, lies, and says I don't trust him. I just don't understand it I guess. Am I not enough? Why does he need it all the time? What should I do?

----------------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------------------

The Internet has opened up a whole new place for men to get their "jollies." Before that, men had to go to sleazy porn shops to do it -- and most often, time simply didn't permit. Now it can be accessed anywhere, at anytime. It seems it's become an obsession with him, and that's the biggest problem. He sneaks, he hides, and he lies -- sort of like the alcoholic! I don't think you're not important to him, but his thirst for porn has become a focal point of his life. He doesn't seem willing, or able temper it, despite you wanting him to do so. But if it's interfering with the relationship, he should be open to getting some help -- before you and he end up breaking up over it.  And I wouldn't blame you if you did. It's too much!