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His Ego Is Off The Charts
- By Miss Emily
- Published 12/6/2010
- Relationships - Women
Hi Miss Emily!
I recently started dating a guy that I've had a strong attraction to for years. He's funny, intelligent, physically fit, self-controlled, and confident. Sadly, the last quality can sometimes border on being self-centered, or arrogance. We've been friends for years and secretly liked each other since we first met. He makes me feel safe and beautiful, but his habit of praising himself often gets on my nerves because it makes me feel inadequate. For example: He forwarded me a file via e-mail, and I couldn't open it. I tried everything, but it wouldn't open using any of my programs. When I text him to let him know it wasn't working, he responded with "I bet I could open it" which pretty much implies that the reason it wouldn't open was not because of my computer or the file itself, but rather because I'm trying to open it instead of HIM trying! I know he thinks highly of himself and with good reason. He's one of those people who end up being right quite often, but it makes me feel like all the praise he gives himself also doubles as shots of criticism directed at me. I don't know how to get past this annoyance. He's such a sweet, affectionate man, but this one issue gets on my nerves! What can I do?
-------------------------------Miss Emily's advice-------------------------
Why do you avoid telling him how you feel? It can't be because you think it would hurt his feelings. It's your feelings that get trampled! But I think it takes courage to tell someone about a character flaw. I'm sure you're not the first person who has felt this way about him. Perhaps he's been told by others that he's a know-it-all -- or, maybe not (no one did him that favor!). If you hope for a long-term relationship with this man, you're going to have to set him straight, or be driven crazy by something you might have been able to correct -- but were too timid to do anything about. That said, you risk his ire if he thinks you're the one with the problem -- but that would tell you a lot about who he is beneath that confident exterior. From my experience, people who brag about their accomplishments do it to build their confidence. His behavior shows a lack of wisdom, and humility. And because that seems to be the case, it could ruin the relationship -- because you're no fool.
I recently started dating a guy that I've had a strong attraction to for years. He's funny, intelligent, physically fit, self-controlled, and confident. Sadly, the last quality can sometimes border on being self-centered, or arrogance. We've been friends for years and secretly liked each other since we first met. He makes me feel safe and beautiful, but his habit of praising himself often gets on my nerves because it makes me feel inadequate. For example: He forwarded me a file via e-mail, and I couldn't open it. I tried everything, but it wouldn't open using any of my programs. When I text him to let him know it wasn't working, he responded with "I bet I could open it" which pretty much implies that the reason it wouldn't open was not because of my computer or the file itself, but rather because I'm trying to open it instead of HIM trying! I know he thinks highly of himself and with good reason. He's one of those people who end up being right quite often, but it makes me feel like all the praise he gives himself also doubles as shots of criticism directed at me. I don't know how to get past this annoyance. He's such a sweet, affectionate man, but this one issue gets on my nerves! What can I do?
-------------------------------Miss Emily's advice-------------------------
Why do you avoid telling him how you feel? It can't be because you think it would hurt his feelings. It's your feelings that get trampled! But I think it takes courage to tell someone about a character flaw. I'm sure you're not the first person who has felt this way about him. Perhaps he's been told by others that he's a know-it-all -- or, maybe not (no one did him that favor!). If you hope for a long-term relationship with this man, you're going to have to set him straight, or be driven crazy by something you might have been able to correct -- but were too timid to do anything about. That said, you risk his ire if he thinks you're the one with the problem -- but that would tell you a lot about who he is beneath that confident exterior. From my experience, people who brag about their accomplishments do it to build their confidence. His behavior shows a lack of wisdom, and humility. And because that seems to be the case, it could ruin the relationship -- because you're no fool.
