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Trust Issues
- By Miss Emily
- Published 12/3/2010
- Relationships - Teens
Dear Miss Emily:
My girlfriend and I been together for over a month now. We've been hitting it off really well. Long story short, her ex got a hold of her phone and has been texting me inappropriate stuff about her and that they've hooked up. Thankfully, it has stopped and I've confronted her and she says nothing happened. At times, I didn't want to deal with the drama and said i have to do something about it -- but she would say things like leaving would be a mistake. Now I'm rebuilding the trust with her, and I keep asking if stuff is going. This girl really likes me, and I've let her know that I'm falling for her more and more each day. I don't want to ruin anything with he,r because i see how special she is and I don't want to keep asking things that stay in my head about our relationship -- such as reliving the past. I just want to keep moving forward, because this is one catch i don't want to let go. After all, she was the one that saw me where I work and said she wanted to have something with me. I just don't want to keep questioning things about our relationship but capitalize on the nice things we do for each other. Advice would be nice.
----------------------------Miss Emily's advice-------------------------
I get many letters where trust is the issue. And that would be an understatement. It seems there's always something to doubt, be it justified, or not. But I understand your concern because this ex boyfriend sent you those texts. That said, this ex could simply be a vindictive guy -- or a real joker (an ass). Of course, there's always the possibility that someone will trust another, and find he or she was taken for a fool. But right now (with me not knowing this girl, nor her past), I think you should give her the benefit of the doubt. At some point, you just have to say to yourself, the pros outweigh the cons, I'm going to go with it, move forward, and try my best to make it work. If something happens, so be it, but you can't live in fear thinking it will, nor do you want to behave in a doubtful, suspicious manner that will drive her away.
My girlfriend and I been together for over a month now. We've been hitting it off really well. Long story short, her ex got a hold of her phone and has been texting me inappropriate stuff about her and that they've hooked up. Thankfully, it has stopped and I've confronted her and she says nothing happened. At times, I didn't want to deal with the drama and said i have to do something about it -- but she would say things like leaving would be a mistake. Now I'm rebuilding the trust with her, and I keep asking if stuff is going. This girl really likes me, and I've let her know that I'm falling for her more and more each day. I don't want to ruin anything with he,r because i see how special she is and I don't want to keep asking things that stay in my head about our relationship -- such as reliving the past. I just want to keep moving forward, because this is one catch i don't want to let go. After all, she was the one that saw me where I work and said she wanted to have something with me. I just don't want to keep questioning things about our relationship but capitalize on the nice things we do for each other. Advice would be nice.
----------------------------Miss Emily's advice-------------------------
I get many letters where trust is the issue. And that would be an understatement. It seems there's always something to doubt, be it justified, or not. But I understand your concern because this ex boyfriend sent you those texts. That said, this ex could simply be a vindictive guy -- or a real joker (an ass). Of course, there's always the possibility that someone will trust another, and find he or she was taken for a fool. But right now (with me not knowing this girl, nor her past), I think you should give her the benefit of the doubt. At some point, you just have to say to yourself, the pros outweigh the cons, I'm going to go with it, move forward, and try my best to make it work. If something happens, so be it, but you can't live in fear thinking it will, nor do you want to behave in a doubtful, suspicious manner that will drive her away.
