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He's Clueless
- By Miss Emily
- Published 12/1/2010
- Relationships - Women
Dear Miss Emily:
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 9 months. We have gone through a lot but ultimately it has made us stronger as a couple. This past August, he met a girl who he claims he was just friends with. He talked to her, constantly, even when I was with him. I caught him saying things to her like "you are so cute" "you make me smile" "I'm so glad I met you". I called him out on it, and he swore he wasn't attracted to her. Well she finally worked things out with her boyfriend and dropped mine. He was shocked and hurt that his friend would just leave him. A month has gone by and he randomly told me one night that he never laid a hand on this girl, never even hugged her. I believe him. Now, he's texting a new girl, not quite as much as the other -- but still a lot. I haven't gone through his phone again, but I don't know what to do. We've been getting along flawlessly and he has honestly been trying harder to make me feel loved. So basically, my question is, is he full of it? Is he just keeping me around until he can get things situated with someone else? He constantly talks about us getting married and being together, but then he talks to these girls all the time. What is his deal?
-------------------------------Miss Emily's advice------------------------
It seems as if he has a real need to communicate with other women that's for sure. And he is attracted in some way. I can't say what his true intentions are, but if it bothers you that he is so duty-bound to this extracurricular activity, and he's aware of your concern, he should temper it for the sake of the relationship. As well, you should be included in the friendship with these women, whenever possible. That would be the mature approach. It shouldn't be an exclusive thing that he has going on. He's chatting with her while you and he are together, and you're left on the side-lines. He may be a friendly guy, but that's just plain rude! But he missed the memo, apparently, and now you have to decide it this guy is worth the aggravation. It's funny, the first girl you mentioned dropped him as soon as she got back with her boyfriend, and I would assume it's because he would be offended if she were to be hanging out on the phone with your guy, and saying cutesy things to him. Your boyfriend has his head firmly lodged up his butt and, again, you have to decide if it's worth dislodging it -- as well, be prepared if you fail. I would find his behavior amusing, if it weren't so totally obnoxious.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 9 months. We have gone through a lot but ultimately it has made us stronger as a couple. This past August, he met a girl who he claims he was just friends with. He talked to her, constantly, even when I was with him. I caught him saying things to her like "you are so cute" "you make me smile" "I'm so glad I met you". I called him out on it, and he swore he wasn't attracted to her. Well she finally worked things out with her boyfriend and dropped mine. He was shocked and hurt that his friend would just leave him. A month has gone by and he randomly told me one night that he never laid a hand on this girl, never even hugged her. I believe him. Now, he's texting a new girl, not quite as much as the other -- but still a lot. I haven't gone through his phone again, but I don't know what to do. We've been getting along flawlessly and he has honestly been trying harder to make me feel loved. So basically, my question is, is he full of it? Is he just keeping me around until he can get things situated with someone else? He constantly talks about us getting married and being together, but then he talks to these girls all the time. What is his deal?
-------------------------------Miss Emily's advice------------------------
It seems as if he has a real need to communicate with other women that's for sure. And he is attracted in some way. I can't say what his true intentions are, but if it bothers you that he is so duty-bound to this extracurricular activity, and he's aware of your concern, he should temper it for the sake of the relationship. As well, you should be included in the friendship with these women, whenever possible. That would be the mature approach. It shouldn't be an exclusive thing that he has going on. He's chatting with her while you and he are together, and you're left on the side-lines. He may be a friendly guy, but that's just plain rude! But he missed the memo, apparently, and now you have to decide it this guy is worth the aggravation. It's funny, the first girl you mentioned dropped him as soon as she got back with her boyfriend, and I would assume it's because he would be offended if she were to be hanging out on the phone with your guy, and saying cutesy things to him. Your boyfriend has his head firmly lodged up his butt and, again, you have to decide if it's worth dislodging it -- as well, be prepared if you fail. I would find his behavior amusing, if it weren't so totally obnoxious.
