Bride Changes Venue
- By Miss Emily
- Published 11/30/2010
- General
Hi Emily,
A friend asked me to be her Maid of Honour and I accepted. And she was my maid of honour earlier this year. However, she has since decided to have a destination wedding, and the cost will be over $1000 for us to attend. How do I tell her I cant afford to go, without upsetting her?
-----------------------------------------Miss Emily's advice-----------------------------------
This problem is pretty common. Brides often forget about the cost to others because they get selfish thinking this day is all about them, and everyone just needs to suck it up, and anti up. It's an absurd notion. There's no easy way to tell her you can't fork over a grand because she has grand plans. And you can't let yourself go into major debt because you didn't have the guts to stand up for yourself. She changed the venue and should acknowledge the financial hardship it would bring to the wedding party -- and be gracious when it comes to the fallout. I think she may find a lot of her guests can't make the wedding. Tell her you feel sick about it, but there's no way you can afford the trip. You have no savings for this type of expense, and charging it is not possible. If she takes offense and finds this an unforgivable breach in the friendship, or lays a guilt trip, you never had the friendship you thought you had. It's better to find out now than live under the delusion it was more. Hopefully, she'll surprise you and understand. Let me know how it turns out.
A friend asked me to be her Maid of Honour and I accepted. And she was my maid of honour earlier this year. However, she has since decided to have a destination wedding, and the cost will be over $1000 for us to attend. How do I tell her I cant afford to go, without upsetting her?
-----------------------------------------Miss Emily's advice-----------------------------------
This problem is pretty common. Brides often forget about the cost to others because they get selfish thinking this day is all about them, and everyone just needs to suck it up, and anti up. It's an absurd notion. There's no easy way to tell her you can't fork over a grand because she has grand plans. And you can't let yourself go into major debt because you didn't have the guts to stand up for yourself. She changed the venue and should acknowledge the financial hardship it would bring to the wedding party -- and be gracious when it comes to the fallout. I think she may find a lot of her guests can't make the wedding. Tell her you feel sick about it, but there's no way you can afford the trip. You have no savings for this type of expense, and charging it is not possible. If she takes offense and finds this an unforgivable breach in the friendship, or lays a guilt trip, you never had the friendship you thought you had. It's better to find out now than live under the delusion it was more. Hopefully, she'll surprise you and understand. Let me know how it turns out.
