- Home
- Relationships - Teens
- Love Lost On The Internet
Love Lost On The Internet
- By Miss Emily
- Published 11/29/2010
- Relationships - Teens
Hey Emily,
I've been very depressed lately. Well, actually, I met this guy on the Internet and we were best friends -- and then he got a girlfriend and things changed and I left him School is going pretty well n stuff, but I've been really depressed about loosing him.. Its hurt me a lot.. Besides that, I've got the holidays now, and I'm getting really bored. There's nothing i can possibly do. Nothing interests me, and life is plain boring.. I NEED a person in my life who I can talk to, and who will understand me, but i cant seem to find anyone. Life is sad and not heading anywhere.. Please help, and no, I'm not talking to my parents, and I don't have a counselor.
--------------------------------Miss Emily's advice---------------------------
I know how difficult this period is for you -- and especially around the holidays. It can be a lonely time for a lot of people. But I also know that life can be unpredictable and things can change overnight. Your depression is a result of this loss, and it's colored everything around you with a shade of gray. You lost this friend who seemed to move on, effortlessly, once he found a girlfriend. Welcome to the world of fickle behavior in the teen years! They can be selfish years, because it's a time of great experimentation. Feelings are easily crushed when a close friend finds a new relationship to explore, and leaves you behind to fend for yourself. Because you found him over the Internet, that made things all the more dicey. You didn't tell me if you ever saw him in person, and I ask this because I get many letters from people who have relationships on the Internet, and they never meet the person face-to-face. And if that's the case for you, that is why the bond could have been more easily broken. He met someone where he can have a real-time relationship with, rather than through the miracle of technology. Internet relationships can be a source of comfort, but they can also be a shield for us to not have to face some of the hard realities of day-to-day life. Although you said you are doing well in school, are you avoiding getting involved with anyone there -- or did this Internet relationship happen by chance? Again, this is a big blow to you, especially at the time of year when everything should be about inclusiveness. But you can't let your life revolve around one guy, and this unfortunate circumstance. Life is more than attaching yourself to one individual. Expectations become so high, they can become unreasonable. You don't know if this new relationship will work for him, because that's the part about love and the, sometimes, unpredictability of it. You can develop some strength around this if you allow yourself to go through the grieving period and, then,, face the world with the determination to not let this one relationship define you. Maybe you can't go to your parents for support with this, and maybe you don't have access to a counselor, but you can make the best of a bad situation by embracing the good things that you do have in your life. Get involved with any activity that's available to you at school, and at home. And also write to me whenever you need a place to vent. I get lots of letters, but I will certainly read yours to help you get through this rough time. Many of us define our lives by failures rather than successes. I think you need to look at all the good things you have to offer and tell yourself "This was a big disappointment in my life, but it can't change the basic nature of who I am." It can't, because if you think that it will dilute the very essence of who you are. No one person should ever be able to do that to you.
I've been very depressed lately. Well, actually, I met this guy on the Internet and we were best friends -- and then he got a girlfriend and things changed and I left him School is going pretty well n stuff, but I've been really depressed about loosing him.. Its hurt me a lot.. Besides that, I've got the holidays now, and I'm getting really bored. There's nothing i can possibly do. Nothing interests me, and life is plain boring.. I NEED a person in my life who I can talk to, and who will understand me, but i cant seem to find anyone. Life is sad and not heading anywhere.. Please help, and no, I'm not talking to my parents, and I don't have a counselor.
--------------------------------Miss Emily's advice---------------------------
I know how difficult this period is for you -- and especially around the holidays. It can be a lonely time for a lot of people. But I also know that life can be unpredictable and things can change overnight. Your depression is a result of this loss, and it's colored everything around you with a shade of gray. You lost this friend who seemed to move on, effortlessly, once he found a girlfriend. Welcome to the world of fickle behavior in the teen years! They can be selfish years, because it's a time of great experimentation. Feelings are easily crushed when a close friend finds a new relationship to explore, and leaves you behind to fend for yourself. Because you found him over the Internet, that made things all the more dicey. You didn't tell me if you ever saw him in person, and I ask this because I get many letters from people who have relationships on the Internet, and they never meet the person face-to-face. And if that's the case for you, that is why the bond could have been more easily broken. He met someone where he can have a real-time relationship with, rather than through the miracle of technology. Internet relationships can be a source of comfort, but they can also be a shield for us to not have to face some of the hard realities of day-to-day life. Although you said you are doing well in school, are you avoiding getting involved with anyone there -- or did this Internet relationship happen by chance? Again, this is a big blow to you, especially at the time of year when everything should be about inclusiveness. But you can't let your life revolve around one guy, and this unfortunate circumstance. Life is more than attaching yourself to one individual. Expectations become so high, they can become unreasonable. You don't know if this new relationship will work for him, because that's the part about love and the, sometimes, unpredictability of it. You can develop some strength around this if you allow yourself to go through the grieving period and, then,, face the world with the determination to not let this one relationship define you. Maybe you can't go to your parents for support with this, and maybe you don't have access to a counselor, but you can make the best of a bad situation by embracing the good things that you do have in your life. Get involved with any activity that's available to you at school, and at home. And also write to me whenever you need a place to vent. I get lots of letters, but I will certainly read yours to help you get through this rough time. Many of us define our lives by failures rather than successes. I think you need to look at all the good things you have to offer and tell yourself "This was a big disappointment in my life, but it can't change the basic nature of who I am." It can't, because if you think that it will dilute the very essence of who you are. No one person should ever be able to do that to you.
