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Teen Relationship Is All About Angst
- By Miss Emily
- Published 11/22/2010
- Relationships - Teens
Dear Miss Emily,
I really need your help! And please don't say "you deserve better, hes not worth it " or anything like that cuz he is, to me! OK, well the story here is me and my ex went out for a year. It was makeup and break up thing. The longest time we ever split was for 2 weeks -- then, I cheated. He was so mad, but we had sex, and a lot of it, and I only did it in hopes to get him back . He didn't come back, though. I begged and he always said, no, but I felt like I was slowly getting him back. Soon he stared saying he loved me, again, and saying he wanted me back. We did all the couple things. We hung out, kissed, and everything, but the only thing left was that he had to ask me out. He said he wanted to do it in the right time. When we were at the park and a girl in the group hugged him -- it was more like the were holding each other -- I got so jealous I started crying. He got mad and said OMFG are you serious!? He left me alone at the park, and left with the girls. Turns out later that day, at a party, he made out with a girl.. I didn't know until the next day, but forgave him at a party for ditching me at the park. Then I see a girl crying at the party and he went and talked to her and I overheard him say "only cuz we made out doesn't mean I like you! I love 'Brenda."' I went up to him and said YOU made out with HER? The girl he kissed told me the entire story. I went crazy and started crying. He cried too. I ignored him for a week but he kept begging and begging so I gave him a chance. We were back together, then like 3 days after I got a text saying he kissed my WORST enemy. I dumped him, i slapped him, spit in his face. I really regret it.
He has forgiven me. bu he won't date me I've cried and begged and he's still gone. He thinks I'm better off without him, but I'm not and I've showed him but he still ignores me! I told him I'm willing to put all the bad stuff in the past and just be happy with him. He just says "I'm sorry, but no." It's been a month, and I said I missed him. He said, "I knew you'd be back here sooner or later, and I was right but, this time, I WILL NOT take you back." I don't want it to END us. Please help!
----------------------------Miss Emily's advice-----------------------
Such drama in both your lives! I'm surprised he would make-out with these girls after accusing you of cheating when you two had broken up. Payback? Or just plain hypocritical? Who knows the reason? But you can't make him forget the past and start anew -- until if, and when he's ready. I'm happy to see that you hold no grudge, but that's cold comfort when he's convinced you and he are not good for each other. Unless he were ready to truly forgive the past and start fresh with you, there's nothing you can do to change his mind. A few months cooling off period, and a chance for him to compare other girls to you, might be the ticket. Sometimes loving someone simply isn't enough. You've both made poor judgments in this relationship. I won't say you deserve better, it's just that he seems to be holding all the cards. Perhaps he thinks he deserves better, or realizes this relationship is too toxic to even bother. He may be right if that's the case.
I really need your help! And please don't say "you deserve better, hes not worth it " or anything like that cuz he is, to me! OK, well the story here is me and my ex went out for a year. It was makeup and break up thing. The longest time we ever split was for 2 weeks -- then, I cheated. He was so mad, but we had sex, and a lot of it, and I only did it in hopes to get him back . He didn't come back, though. I begged and he always said, no, but I felt like I was slowly getting him back. Soon he stared saying he loved me, again, and saying he wanted me back. We did all the couple things. We hung out, kissed, and everything, but the only thing left was that he had to ask me out. He said he wanted to do it in the right time. When we were at the park and a girl in the group hugged him -- it was more like the were holding each other -- I got so jealous I started crying. He got mad and said OMFG are you serious!? He left me alone at the park, and left with the girls. Turns out later that day, at a party, he made out with a girl.. I didn't know until the next day, but forgave him at a party for ditching me at the park. Then I see a girl crying at the party and he went and talked to her and I overheard him say "only cuz we made out doesn't mean I like you! I love 'Brenda."' I went up to him and said YOU made out with HER? The girl he kissed told me the entire story. I went crazy and started crying. He cried too. I ignored him for a week but he kept begging and begging so I gave him a chance. We were back together, then like 3 days after I got a text saying he kissed my WORST enemy. I dumped him, i slapped him, spit in his face. I really regret it.
He has forgiven me. bu he won't date me I've cried and begged and he's still gone. He thinks I'm better off without him, but I'm not and I've showed him but he still ignores me! I told him I'm willing to put all the bad stuff in the past and just be happy with him. He just says "I'm sorry, but no." It's been a month, and I said I missed him. He said, "I knew you'd be back here sooner or later, and I was right but, this time, I WILL NOT take you back." I don't want it to END us. Please help!
----------------------------Miss Emily's advice-----------------------
Such drama in both your lives! I'm surprised he would make-out with these girls after accusing you of cheating when you two had broken up. Payback? Or just plain hypocritical? Who knows the reason? But you can't make him forget the past and start anew -- until if, and when he's ready. I'm happy to see that you hold no grudge, but that's cold comfort when he's convinced you and he are not good for each other. Unless he were ready to truly forgive the past and start fresh with you, there's nothing you can do to change his mind. A few months cooling off period, and a chance for him to compare other girls to you, might be the ticket. Sometimes loving someone simply isn't enough. You've both made poor judgments in this relationship. I won't say you deserve better, it's just that he seems to be holding all the cards. Perhaps he thinks he deserves better, or realizes this relationship is too toxic to even bother. He may be right if that's the case.
