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He's A Tad "Gun-shy"
- By Miss Emily
- Published 11/19/2010
- Relationships - Women
Dear Miss Emily,
I met this guy a month ago, and I really like him. The first week he was texting and calling me non-stop. After the first date, he started to slow down on calling and texting, so I asked him and his reply was "I have been busy with work and family." I didn't buy it but I acted like I did. Last week, I spent the weekend with him and even met his whole family. They were very nice and happy to meet me, but he didn't really show it that much. So after 2-3days I texted him saying why did he change and asked him to be honest. He said that in the beginning, he was moving too fast and realized that he didn't want to be serious right now -- but I'm the only girl that he is seeing -- and if he was to be serious, he would with me.What should I do? I really like him. Is it maybe he still has feeling for his ex since it's been only 9-10months that he got out of a six year relationship? Please help me.
-------------------------------Miss Emily's advice---------------------------
You're on to something! He just got out of a six-year relationship but, without me knowing his full story -- and the reasons for the break-up -- I can only surmise that he's either still licking his wounds, or enjoying his freedom. There's really nothing you can do to hasten this relationship but, rather, you must accept or reject what he has laid at your feet. If I were you, and he seems worth the effort, don't push it. Entertain the idea of seeing other people, and make sure he knows you're independent and not expecting him to tell you when to breath. His ace is that he's being honest with you, and his conscience is pretty clear. I know, this is a yucky situation because you care about him and think he should surrender to you in full. But pushing it will drive him away, and I don't think you want to do that at this juncture. Be cool, calm and collected. That's your best line of defense until you realize that he isn't budging, and it's no longer worth you hoping something will change.
I met this guy a month ago, and I really like him. The first week he was texting and calling me non-stop. After the first date, he started to slow down on calling and texting, so I asked him and his reply was "I have been busy with work and family." I didn't buy it but I acted like I did. Last week, I spent the weekend with him and even met his whole family. They were very nice and happy to meet me, but he didn't really show it that much. So after 2-3days I texted him saying why did he change and asked him to be honest. He said that in the beginning, he was moving too fast and realized that he didn't want to be serious right now -- but I'm the only girl that he is seeing -- and if he was to be serious, he would with me.What should I do? I really like him. Is it maybe he still has feeling for his ex since it's been only 9-10months that he got out of a six year relationship? Please help me.
-------------------------------Miss Emily's advice---------------------------
You're on to something! He just got out of a six-year relationship but, without me knowing his full story -- and the reasons for the break-up -- I can only surmise that he's either still licking his wounds, or enjoying his freedom. There's really nothing you can do to hasten this relationship but, rather, you must accept or reject what he has laid at your feet. If I were you, and he seems worth the effort, don't push it. Entertain the idea of seeing other people, and make sure he knows you're independent and not expecting him to tell you when to breath. His ace is that he's being honest with you, and his conscience is pretty clear. I know, this is a yucky situation because you care about him and think he should surrender to you in full. But pushing it will drive him away, and I don't think you want to do that at this juncture. Be cool, calm and collected. That's your best line of defense until you realize that he isn't budging, and it's no longer worth you hoping something will change.
