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Time To Get Out Of This Marriage!
- By Miss Emily
- Published 11/19/2010
- Relationships - Women
Dear Miss Emily:
My problem is within my marriage. My husband and I have been together now for 2 years. When we got married, he already had 2 Rottweiler weighing a combined 280 pounds. For the past 2 years, I've been the only one working. My husband stayed home with the dogs. When we moved my husband started working, but unfortunately his income alone isn't paying the bills. I need to go to work, but my husband wont let me. He will not let the dogs stay home alone. Our entire lives revolve around his dogs. Anytime I mention to him that the dogs are becoming a problem in our marriage, he just says if they are a problem, he will take them and leave. He shows them affection and love every time he is around them, but my husband hasn't acted compassionately with me in probably a year. He will tell me he hates me, but then tells me he was just joking. He has told me that I'm not "worthy" of his or his dogs' love, and again he says I can't go to work because the dogs can't be left alone, and he doesn't trust ANYBODY around them. He has even accused me of poisoning them! The dogs do not listen at all, and anytime they do wrong, like using the bathroom in the house, he just makes excuses for them, and always turns it around to being my fault that they are misbehaving. I cannot talk to him about it, his only option is to divorce. I have 3 kids from a previous marriage whom I get every other weekend. There has been weekends I haven't been allowed to go get them, because I have to use his money for gas, and he doesn't want them here anyway. It hurts me so bad, I love my husband so much, I just don't know what to do. I feel like I'm going to have a nervous breakdown, please help!!!!!!
-------------------------------Miss Emily's advice---------------------------
Marrying this man was a mistake. He obviously cares more about the dogs than he does you. I'm not sure why you love this man. He's nothing more than a dictator, and not even a loving one, at that. If I were you, I would -- without his knowledge -- seek employment (if it's possible in this lousy economy) and move out. Your kids are important to you, as they should be, and he's (and you have allowed it) held you hostage so you can't see them every time they are supposed to be with you. What kind of person does that? I feel for you, but you need to find a way out of this mistake you made two years ago. Again, you may love him, but it's a one-way street. He's selfish, self-indulgent, and controlling. You deserve better, and the freedom to be who you are without this creep breathing down your neck. The sooner you realize it, the better off you'll be. It you keep the status quo, the more power you will give to him -- and powerless people are powerless to change their lousy lives. At all cost, don't let this happen. It's not too late to remedy this situation if you use your head and put a plan into action. Do this, behind his back if you must, in order to insure a successful outcome. The way you describe this guy, he's an ass, with a capital A. Yuck!
My problem is within my marriage. My husband and I have been together now for 2 years. When we got married, he already had 2 Rottweiler weighing a combined 280 pounds. For the past 2 years, I've been the only one working. My husband stayed home with the dogs. When we moved my husband started working, but unfortunately his income alone isn't paying the bills. I need to go to work, but my husband wont let me. He will not let the dogs stay home alone. Our entire lives revolve around his dogs. Anytime I mention to him that the dogs are becoming a problem in our marriage, he just says if they are a problem, he will take them and leave. He shows them affection and love every time he is around them, but my husband hasn't acted compassionately with me in probably a year. He will tell me he hates me, but then tells me he was just joking. He has told me that I'm not "worthy" of his or his dogs' love, and again he says I can't go to work because the dogs can't be left alone, and he doesn't trust ANYBODY around them. He has even accused me of poisoning them! The dogs do not listen at all, and anytime they do wrong, like using the bathroom in the house, he just makes excuses for them, and always turns it around to being my fault that they are misbehaving. I cannot talk to him about it, his only option is to divorce. I have 3 kids from a previous marriage whom I get every other weekend. There has been weekends I haven't been allowed to go get them, because I have to use his money for gas, and he doesn't want them here anyway. It hurts me so bad, I love my husband so much, I just don't know what to do. I feel like I'm going to have a nervous breakdown, please help!!!!!!
-------------------------------Miss Emily's advice---------------------------
Marrying this man was a mistake. He obviously cares more about the dogs than he does you. I'm not sure why you love this man. He's nothing more than a dictator, and not even a loving one, at that. If I were you, I would -- without his knowledge -- seek employment (if it's possible in this lousy economy) and move out. Your kids are important to you, as they should be, and he's (and you have allowed it) held you hostage so you can't see them every time they are supposed to be with you. What kind of person does that? I feel for you, but you need to find a way out of this mistake you made two years ago. Again, you may love him, but it's a one-way street. He's selfish, self-indulgent, and controlling. You deserve better, and the freedom to be who you are without this creep breathing down your neck. The sooner you realize it, the better off you'll be. It you keep the status quo, the more power you will give to him -- and powerless people are powerless to change their lousy lives. At all cost, don't let this happen. It's not too late to remedy this situation if you use your head and put a plan into action. Do this, behind his back if you must, in order to insure a successful outcome. The way you describe this guy, he's an ass, with a capital A. Yuck!
