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Two Boyfriends!
- By Miss Emily
- Published 11/16/2010
- Relationships - Women
Hello Emily,
I have been with this guy for 4 years and I love him very much. We just moved in together and go to college together, but since we have been living together, our romance has gone out the window. So we decided to break up and date other people. It was stupid and crazy because we were living together... so it was very hard. I started talking to this guy and got really close... then my x-boyfriend and I got back together. I never told this other guy that I was back in a relationship, so when I was hanging out with him the other day and he asked me to be his girlfriend. I had no idea what to say, so I said yes and now I have two boyfriends! I don't want this. I don't want to hurt anybody or lose anybody. I don't even know which one I would rather be with. What should I do??
------------------------------Miss Emily's advice-----------------------------
You are a bit of a walking contradiction! But saying you don't want to hurt anyone, usually mean you don't want to lose out. You've got to be frank with this new guy and tell him that you made a horrible mistake. You don't have to tell him the whole story, simply tell him your ex came back into your life, and he persuaded you to give it one more try. You realized there is still some unfinished business with him. Do it now! And then sit down with your 4-year guy and decide where you think this relationship is going. Set some new guidelines, and try to stick to them. If you can't, the relationship has run its course, at least for now. The move in together gave you a good idea of how well you and he worked as a team, and it seemed a test that failed. College offers a lot of new experiences and its tempting to put your toe in the water. But this new guy should not be deceived any longer, and that's what you're doing to him. If you love your live-in boyfriend "very much" as you said (and hopefully not as a brother but an "in love" relationship), it would seem best to give it one last try to make it work, before you date anyone else -- and free of this relationship.
I have been with this guy for 4 years and I love him very much. We just moved in together and go to college together, but since we have been living together, our romance has gone out the window. So we decided to break up and date other people. It was stupid and crazy because we were living together... so it was very hard. I started talking to this guy and got really close... then my x-boyfriend and I got back together. I never told this other guy that I was back in a relationship, so when I was hanging out with him the other day and he asked me to be his girlfriend. I had no idea what to say, so I said yes and now I have two boyfriends! I don't want this. I don't want to hurt anybody or lose anybody. I don't even know which one I would rather be with. What should I do??
------------------------------Miss Emily's advice-----------------------------
You are a bit of a walking contradiction! But saying you don't want to hurt anyone, usually mean you don't want to lose out. You've got to be frank with this new guy and tell him that you made a horrible mistake. You don't have to tell him the whole story, simply tell him your ex came back into your life, and he persuaded you to give it one more try. You realized there is still some unfinished business with him. Do it now! And then sit down with your 4-year guy and decide where you think this relationship is going. Set some new guidelines, and try to stick to them. If you can't, the relationship has run its course, at least for now. The move in together gave you a good idea of how well you and he worked as a team, and it seemed a test that failed. College offers a lot of new experiences and its tempting to put your toe in the water. But this new guy should not be deceived any longer, and that's what you're doing to him. If you love your live-in boyfriend "very much" as you said (and hopefully not as a brother but an "in love" relationship), it would seem best to give it one last try to make it work, before you date anyone else -- and free of this relationship.
