- Home
- Relationships - Women
- Too Big A Move, Too Soon
Too Big A Move, Too Soon
- By Miss Emily
- Published 11/15/2010
- Relationships - Women
Hello Emily ,
I am twenty years old and currently live in Boston and have been falling out of love with my city for quiet some time now. I have been talking to this man from Iowa for about seven months .. and we meet over Playstation home. Weird, I know !We finally meet about 2 weeks ago when he flew me out to Iowa for two days .. and it was great ! The connection was there, and it was as if we had met each other before. My problem now is the long distance relationship. He wants me to move to Iowa with him, and I want to, as well, but I'm afraid of losing my independence. What if its not all happy happy, joy joy, then what ? I want to move for many reasons: a better job opportunity, saving money, paying off loans and, of course, to be with " Iowa. " I've been wanting to leave Boston for a while now, and I'm not sure if this is a sign ? Should I go, or should I stay ? I'm so miserable here! Another issue I have, is that my family knows nothing of him. How do I break it down. Thanks for listening. I hope you can help.
------------------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------------------
It's not going to be the right choice to move unless it's done with considerable thought, and a clearer understanding that it can work -- despite the knowledge that any relationship can go south. As well, your parents are going to need to meet him -- that's a no-brainer. You may no longer have feelings for Boston, but it's going to look like Nirvana if you move to Iowa, where you have no friends or support system -- other than this man -- and if things were to go sour, then what? I am pleased that the two days you spent with him were successful. That's a good sign, in that you were not disappointed with him, or vice-versa. But that was too short a period to know what it would be like to be with him on a daily basis. If independence is what you cherish, imagine how quickly it will fly out the window if he's demanding all your time. Now, I could see, possibly, taking a risk if you were able to get your own place, have a good job, and an opportunity to meet new people in order to establishes roots, but all this would have to be part of the plan in order to give you any peace of mind. It's my suggestion that you keep up the correspondence with a firm date for him to fly to Boston, spend some quality time with you in your neck-of-the-woods, and introduce him to your parents. You don't want to go from the frying pan into the fire unless you can help it. There's that old saying "Act in haste, repent in leisure." And, oh, so true. Iowa (although I've never been there) is not the cosmopolitan city Boston is, and there could be some culture shock. Perhaps a slower pace is to your liking, but I'd want to know it was a good fit prior to any major commitment.
I am twenty years old and currently live in Boston and have been falling out of love with my city for quiet some time now. I have been talking to this man from Iowa for about seven months .. and we meet over Playstation home. Weird, I know !We finally meet about 2 weeks ago when he flew me out to Iowa for two days .. and it was great ! The connection was there, and it was as if we had met each other before. My problem now is the long distance relationship. He wants me to move to Iowa with him, and I want to, as well, but I'm afraid of losing my independence. What if its not all happy happy, joy joy, then what ? I want to move for many reasons: a better job opportunity, saving money, paying off loans and, of course, to be with " Iowa. " I've been wanting to leave Boston for a while now, and I'm not sure if this is a sign ? Should I go, or should I stay ? I'm so miserable here! Another issue I have, is that my family knows nothing of him. How do I break it down. Thanks for listening. I hope you can help.
------------------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------------------
It's not going to be the right choice to move unless it's done with considerable thought, and a clearer understanding that it can work -- despite the knowledge that any relationship can go south. As well, your parents are going to need to meet him -- that's a no-brainer. You may no longer have feelings for Boston, but it's going to look like Nirvana if you move to Iowa, where you have no friends or support system -- other than this man -- and if things were to go sour, then what? I am pleased that the two days you spent with him were successful. That's a good sign, in that you were not disappointed with him, or vice-versa. But that was too short a period to know what it would be like to be with him on a daily basis. If independence is what you cherish, imagine how quickly it will fly out the window if he's demanding all your time. Now, I could see, possibly, taking a risk if you were able to get your own place, have a good job, and an opportunity to meet new people in order to establishes roots, but all this would have to be part of the plan in order to give you any peace of mind. It's my suggestion that you keep up the correspondence with a firm date for him to fly to Boston, spend some quality time with you in your neck-of-the-woods, and introduce him to your parents. You don't want to go from the frying pan into the fire unless you can help it. There's that old saying "Act in haste, repent in leisure." And, oh, so true. Iowa (although I've never been there) is not the cosmopolitan city Boston is, and there could be some culture shock. Perhaps a slower pace is to your liking, but I'd want to know it was a good fit prior to any major commitment.
