Dear Miss Emily:

It is kind of weird to be asking for advice, here, but I really don't want to involve the people i know. During my 16s to my 22s I had an amazing friendship with an Irish guy. We were extremely close. For 6 years he visited me every summer and every winter for 3 - 4 weeks. There was nothing between us, only an incredible friendship. To make the long story short, something extremely bad happened in my life and I completely disappeared from his life. I moved to another country, and I did not contact him anymore. Five years later, life brought me to Ireland and I have been dying to look for him -- see him again, and explain to him all that happened, and why I acted that way. I know his full name, and I still have his parents house phone number and address -- but I haven't tried yet. I haven't stopped thinking about him. In some way, I am scared because I know he must be hating me right now. I never tried to hurt him, I just didn't want to involve him in the nightmare I was in. What should i do?

------------------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------------------

Of course, losing contact with him in such an abrupt way must have left him totally confused, and hurt. But I perfectly understand that these things happen in life, and we make choices that we often regret. But what happened to you must have been a horrendous period in your life, and you are certainly excused under the circumstances. By all means, contact him! I am sure his life has changed in many ways, but you're going to always wonder how this story ends if you don't attempt to get in touch. I envision a meeting that includes hours of catching up (after explaining why you cut him out of your life) and, for  both of you, some peace of mind now that the mystery is solved.