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Long Distance Relationship
- By Miss Emily
- Published 10/30/2010
- Relationships - Men
Dear Miss Emily:
My girlfriend has been in India since August, and she has had a hard time adjusting. She will be there until September 2011. We communicate almost daily through blackberry messenger, or through email. When possible, we have even video chatted. We are both in love and miss each other an incredible amount. We have been going out since January and have been friends for almost 5 years. Recently we discussed how it may be easier for her to adjust to her surroundings if we try to limit our conversation. It makes sense to me, but at the same time we are both afraid that the limited contact will make us distant and our love for each other may diminish. Any advice would be greatly appreciated on how we should go about ensuring her comfort while preserving our relationship.
-----------------------------Miss Emily's advice------------------------
Limit correspondence if it is seen as a crutch to avoid any attempt to adjust to her environment -- although it simply may not be for her, and you provide a welcomed relief. That said, anything can be taken to extreme, and technology has allowed us to become extreme! I think, however, if you do what you suggested in your e-mail, insecurity could arise from the disconnect and you'd have to figure out a way to handle that if it becomes a part of the relationship. Eleven months can go by pretty fast. Keep communication lines open in terms of honesty, and you two should be able to manage what you now see as the unknown. If her acclamation to India does become a threat to the relationship, the bond the two of you have is not as tight as you might have thought. But if that doesn't become an issue, when she returns you should be able to glide easily into where you left off -- happy, happy, happy!
My girlfriend has been in India since August, and she has had a hard time adjusting. She will be there until September 2011. We communicate almost daily through blackberry messenger, or through email. When possible, we have even video chatted. We are both in love and miss each other an incredible amount. We have been going out since January and have been friends for almost 5 years. Recently we discussed how it may be easier for her to adjust to her surroundings if we try to limit our conversation. It makes sense to me, but at the same time we are both afraid that the limited contact will make us distant and our love for each other may diminish. Any advice would be greatly appreciated on how we should go about ensuring her comfort while preserving our relationship.
-----------------------------Miss Emily's advice------------------------
Limit correspondence if it is seen as a crutch to avoid any attempt to adjust to her environment -- although it simply may not be for her, and you provide a welcomed relief. That said, anything can be taken to extreme, and technology has allowed us to become extreme! I think, however, if you do what you suggested in your e-mail, insecurity could arise from the disconnect and you'd have to figure out a way to handle that if it becomes a part of the relationship. Eleven months can go by pretty fast. Keep communication lines open in terms of honesty, and you two should be able to manage what you now see as the unknown. If her acclamation to India does become a threat to the relationship, the bond the two of you have is not as tight as you might have thought. But if that doesn't become an issue, when she returns you should be able to glide easily into where you left off -- happy, happy, happy!
