I met this young woman about 2 1/2 months ago and we hit it off right away. A great catch in every way she's funny, witty, has a great head on her shoulders and attractive... and of course everything was going too perfectly. Suddenly she became distant like something was always on her mind so I asked her about it...To find that she broke up with her ex roughly 3-4 weeks before meeting me, after being with him for 3 years (information she omitted when we talked about our exes earlier in our relationship). She admitted that she's fallen in love with me and doesn't want to break up, but she says every time I get closer to her, it hurts more. We're still "dating" but I told her we both needed some space to clear our heads but I'm just more upset and confused as time goes on. We've been together almost 3 months and I'm sure I've fallen for her and it hurts so much that I know it would be easier to just move on but she's special enough to me that I don't want to give up on her or our relationship for something that isn't even my fault...What should I do? She's also been in multiple foster care homes for most of her adolescent life. Trust issues possibly?. She had a shorter relationship before we met so I'm not the typical "rebound" guy, and by young woman I meant she's 19...I'm 23. I'm not a professional, but I'm smart enough to know that these details have impacts on relationships, so I told you this in the hope for better advice.

-----------------------------------------------Miss Emily's advice--------------------------------------

You are smart -- and smart for 23! That's incredible, because so many people at your age are still floundering while you're pragmatic and wise to see the red flags in this relationship dynamic. Let me tell you about someone I know. She is smart, funny, witty and pretty, like this special girl, but she never seems to be truly able to shed her dysfunctional, abusive past -- despite her intelligence, and verbal exchange of rational thinking. She wants to be loved, needs to be loved, but her expectations are high, almost unreasonable, and she seems to end up punishing those who love her. Her past is her future, if you know what I mean. I think your girl understands that she is fearful of abandonment and hesitates to get too close, as a result. And although you can reassure her until the cows come home that you are different, that you love her, will respect her, and she can trust you, it may not take hold. The burden of erasing her past -- making up for it, can be tantamount to chasing your tail. She has to understand that, be truly able to trust you -- and be willing to take that risk -- because none of us, no matter our past, can be sure we will succeed in a relationship. Without the ability to trust, she'll see you from her prism, and it will prevent this relationship from moving forward toward success. In a way, she's already given you the warning signs of getting involved with her. Be careful, tread lightly -- but if you can't feel confident she can put her past behind her, say good-bye and mean it.