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Can't Feel Comfortable With Boyfriend
- By Miss Emily
- Published 10/23/2010
- Relationships - Women
Dear Miss Emily:
I have been seeing this guy for a month now. We used to hang out a lot before that, but we were not really friends.He is very sweet,caring and kind. I can't get used to him. I always have to try to make conversation and he is not that intimate with me. I'm even starting to think we are not compatible, and I am not enjoying the kisses.he does, and he doesn't flirt or spice conversation with me. He is always so uptight. I'm getting bored in the relationship and I really don't want to break up wit him. I want us to work out. I feel he is good for me. My ex cheated on me, and I feel like he can actually treat me right. The other problem is I'm always comparing him with my ex, and I feel like he will never satisfy me like my ex did. What do I do to get him to be comfortable with me -- more fun and spontaneous, and have great conversation? And the kisses -- how do I get them to be amazing? Help!
--------------------------------Miss Emily's advice------------------------
You may be asking for a miracle to happen. It might be a case of "what you see, is what you get" with him. He simply may not be right for you, no matter how sweet and kind his disposition. Those attributes do not always translate into a solid, compatible relationship. You can try to spice up the kisses by taking the lead and showing him what good kissing is all about. He may be shy in this area, and inexperienced. If you're up for the task, you could put yourself in the roll of the sexy aggressor. Keep in mind, however, that he may not be receptive to this -- but you will have your answer to whether this relationship can move forward, or it's dead in the water. But it could lead to more intimacy, and he might loosen up with conversation once there's greater trust. Give it a try, but if it doesn't go your way, admit he isn't the guy for you. Just because he treats you better than your ex, it's not a good reason to stay in the relationship. There are other guys who can fill your wants and desires if you take a look around you and not limit the possibilities. This guy may only have been a temporary salve for the hurt you felt when your ex cheated. Be honest with him if, you too, come to that conclusion. I believe that honesty is best in almost all matters -- and it's a lot easier than carrying the load of frustration that comes from not having what you truly want.
I have been seeing this guy for a month now. We used to hang out a lot before that, but we were not really friends.He is very sweet,caring and kind. I can't get used to him. I always have to try to make conversation and he is not that intimate with me. I'm even starting to think we are not compatible, and I am not enjoying the kisses.he does, and he doesn't flirt or spice conversation with me. He is always so uptight. I'm getting bored in the relationship and I really don't want to break up wit him. I want us to work out. I feel he is good for me. My ex cheated on me, and I feel like he can actually treat me right. The other problem is I'm always comparing him with my ex, and I feel like he will never satisfy me like my ex did. What do I do to get him to be comfortable with me -- more fun and spontaneous, and have great conversation? And the kisses -- how do I get them to be amazing? Help!
--------------------------------Miss Emily's advice------------------------
You may be asking for a miracle to happen. It might be a case of "what you see, is what you get" with him. He simply may not be right for you, no matter how sweet and kind his disposition. Those attributes do not always translate into a solid, compatible relationship. You can try to spice up the kisses by taking the lead and showing him what good kissing is all about. He may be shy in this area, and inexperienced. If you're up for the task, you could put yourself in the roll of the sexy aggressor. Keep in mind, however, that he may not be receptive to this -- but you will have your answer to whether this relationship can move forward, or it's dead in the water. But it could lead to more intimacy, and he might loosen up with conversation once there's greater trust. Give it a try, but if it doesn't go your way, admit he isn't the guy for you. Just because he treats you better than your ex, it's not a good reason to stay in the relationship. There are other guys who can fill your wants and desires if you take a look around you and not limit the possibilities. This guy may only have been a temporary salve for the hurt you felt when your ex cheated. Be honest with him if, you too, come to that conclusion. I believe that honesty is best in almost all matters -- and it's a lot easier than carrying the load of frustration that comes from not having what you truly want.
