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Wants Baby At Sixteen
- By Miss Emily
- Published 10/22/2010
- Relationships - Teens
Dear Miss Emily:
Hello, please don't judge me but I am sixteen years old and would love to have a baby. I've been with my boyfriend for three years and I'd like to start my family. My boyfriend would like a baby but he is afraid of the financial problems. Then my mom is completely disapproving. But all in all it's MY decision to get on birth control pills, or continue on the depo provera shot. I've got my plans for raising and taking care of the baby, I'm mentally prepared and ready to have a child, and I've already grown up quite a bit. I've been second mommy to my sisters since I was ten.. But what should I do? Get the shot, or pills to make everyone happy or make myself happy for once? I don't know! Please help!
-----------------------------Miss Emily's advice--------------------------
I understand your desire to have a child, and I don't doubt you would be a good mother, but I have to agree with your boyfriend -- finances are a huge issue -- and because you want the best for your baby, you need to have your financial ducks in a row. The guilt of not being able to fully provide for a child is devastating, not to mention the toll it takes on the child. There's an old saying "When poverty walks in the door, love flies out the window." I'm not suggesting that you will be facing poverty, anytime soon, but when you're on your own -- and when society can seem so cruel to those who simply want to make a good living, but can't because our economy is in the pits -- life can become a living hell. That's when you may be forced to either become dependent on others, or the welfare system. Again, if your boyfriend has financial worries, I'd listen, because if he's faced with not being able to fully provide, it could be you who will have to work and send your baby to day care. And you'd better have the education to get a job that pays well enough to support a child. Minimum wage doesn't do it, and that's when anger and resentment come into play when you can't make ends meet. I'd wait to get pregnant until I was sure that what your boyfriend says (and your mother) is no longer a valid concern.
Hello, please don't judge me but I am sixteen years old and would love to have a baby. I've been with my boyfriend for three years and I'd like to start my family. My boyfriend would like a baby but he is afraid of the financial problems. Then my mom is completely disapproving. But all in all it's MY decision to get on birth control pills, or continue on the depo provera shot. I've got my plans for raising and taking care of the baby, I'm mentally prepared and ready to have a child, and I've already grown up quite a bit. I've been second mommy to my sisters since I was ten.. But what should I do? Get the shot, or pills to make everyone happy or make myself happy for once? I don't know! Please help!
-----------------------------Miss Emily's advice--------------------------
I understand your desire to have a child, and I don't doubt you would be a good mother, but I have to agree with your boyfriend -- finances are a huge issue -- and because you want the best for your baby, you need to have your financial ducks in a row. The guilt of not being able to fully provide for a child is devastating, not to mention the toll it takes on the child. There's an old saying "When poverty walks in the door, love flies out the window." I'm not suggesting that you will be facing poverty, anytime soon, but when you're on your own -- and when society can seem so cruel to those who simply want to make a good living, but can't because our economy is in the pits -- life can become a living hell. That's when you may be forced to either become dependent on others, or the welfare system. Again, if your boyfriend has financial worries, I'd listen, because if he's faced with not being able to fully provide, it could be you who will have to work and send your baby to day care. And you'd better have the education to get a job that pays well enough to support a child. Minimum wage doesn't do it, and that's when anger and resentment come into play when you can't make ends meet. I'd wait to get pregnant until I was sure that what your boyfriend says (and your mother) is no longer a valid concern.
