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- The Courage To Say "No"
The Courage To Say "No"
- By Miss Emily
- Published 10/22/2010
- Relationships - Women
Dear Miss Emily:
Ive been dating this guy for almost a year, and he really wants me and my son to move in with him. He kept asking and finally I just told him i would in March so that he would stop asking. Well now its getting closer and i really don't want to, but I know if i don't he will break up with me. What do i do?
----------------------------Miss Emily's advice--------------------------
You can't be held hostage to something you didn't believe you could do from the get-go. You need to sit him down and spell out the reasons you do not want to move in with him, and why you were too quick to make that commitment. There are good reasons why you don't want to do this, and following that inner-voice that tells you "No" must be heeded. If he breaks up with you for the reasons you give him, well, that is a result you're going to have to accept. If he's not willing to wait to see if you feel more comfortable with the idea (and I'm on your side -- you've only been with him a year), I'd continue to remind myself why I wanted to wait to make a major commitment like this one. You should understand that losing him is far better than moving in and finding yourself trapped. Ask yourself these questions: Why is it easier for me to not let him in on this information, now? Why is it better to drag my feet, when all the while I will be fearing the inevitable? He has a right to know, as well, and honesty will be easier for you than carrying on a deception that seems to be haunting you.
Ive been dating this guy for almost a year, and he really wants me and my son to move in with him. He kept asking and finally I just told him i would in March so that he would stop asking. Well now its getting closer and i really don't want to, but I know if i don't he will break up with me. What do i do?
----------------------------Miss Emily's advice--------------------------
You can't be held hostage to something you didn't believe you could do from the get-go. You need to sit him down and spell out the reasons you do not want to move in with him, and why you were too quick to make that commitment. There are good reasons why you don't want to do this, and following that inner-voice that tells you "No" must be heeded. If he breaks up with you for the reasons you give him, well, that is a result you're going to have to accept. If he's not willing to wait to see if you feel more comfortable with the idea (and I'm on your side -- you've only been with him a year), I'd continue to remind myself why I wanted to wait to make a major commitment like this one. You should understand that losing him is far better than moving in and finding yourself trapped. Ask yourself these questions: Why is it easier for me to not let him in on this information, now? Why is it better to drag my feet, when all the while I will be fearing the inevitable? He has a right to know, as well, and honesty will be easier for you than carrying on a deception that seems to be haunting you.
