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- To Tell, Or Not To Tell . . .
To Tell, Or Not To Tell . . .
- By Miss Emily
- Published 10/13/2010
- Relationships - Teens
Dear Miss Emily:
I am 18 years old, and I started dating a girl a year younger than me, nearly a year ago. Looking back, we had an interesting first several months of our relationship. Three months or so into the relationship I was at a party and had one too many to drink and I kissed a girl (all it was, was a kiss). I didn't tell my girlfriend 'cause i thought it would blow over. I hadn't ever felt any guilt about it and we had a really great rest of the year/summer. I went off to college and she's still in high school. We have a lot of small fights and are currently still in the relationship -- and I am madly in love with her. We both have an understanding that even though we fight a lot, we want to be in this relationship for a long time. Last night, an enemy of mine from high school, who I stupidly reached out to, said that he knew that I "cheated" on my girlfriend. (He is best friends with the girl I kissed at the party, so I'm assuming she stupidly told him). He told me that he wouldnt tell my girlfriend 'cause he was sworn to secrecy not to share that information with anyone. I know he probably won't tell, but all the guilt that I never had all of the sudden came back after having this conversation. I'm so incredibly scared that something so small like a kiss could ruin my entire year long relationship (and I can't have that happen). I really dont know if I should tell my girlfriend what happened 'cause it was so long ago and such a small matter. But at the same time, if she heard it from someone else she would be even more crushed. Regardless, its a bad time to tell her cause I only get to see her 1-2 times a month. This seems like a very tricky/immature situation and I need help.
------------------------------Miss Emily's advice------------------------
A kiss at a party, early in the relationship, and under the influence of alcohol, is not tantamount to cheating, in my book. I'd forget about it. If this creep brings it up, again, tell him "Let it go" and change the subject. If your girlfriend finds out about it, simply tell her it was error in judgment and you saw no purpose to steer the boat into a storm rather than let it remain a one-time ripple. I see no reason to court trouble over this situation. But it's your call if guilt and nervousness over the fact someone might blow the whistle on you, supersedes your ability to understand that people can be real troublemakers, and you don't have the courage to stand up to them.
I am 18 years old, and I started dating a girl a year younger than me, nearly a year ago. Looking back, we had an interesting first several months of our relationship. Three months or so into the relationship I was at a party and had one too many to drink and I kissed a girl (all it was, was a kiss). I didn't tell my girlfriend 'cause i thought it would blow over. I hadn't ever felt any guilt about it and we had a really great rest of the year/summer. I went off to college and she's still in high school. We have a lot of small fights and are currently still in the relationship -- and I am madly in love with her. We both have an understanding that even though we fight a lot, we want to be in this relationship for a long time. Last night, an enemy of mine from high school, who I stupidly reached out to, said that he knew that I "cheated" on my girlfriend. (He is best friends with the girl I kissed at the party, so I'm assuming she stupidly told him). He told me that he wouldnt tell my girlfriend 'cause he was sworn to secrecy not to share that information with anyone. I know he probably won't tell, but all the guilt that I never had all of the sudden came back after having this conversation. I'm so incredibly scared that something so small like a kiss could ruin my entire year long relationship (and I can't have that happen). I really dont know if I should tell my girlfriend what happened 'cause it was so long ago and such a small matter. But at the same time, if she heard it from someone else she would be even more crushed. Regardless, its a bad time to tell her cause I only get to see her 1-2 times a month. This seems like a very tricky/immature situation and I need help.
------------------------------Miss Emily's advice------------------------
A kiss at a party, early in the relationship, and under the influence of alcohol, is not tantamount to cheating, in my book. I'd forget about it. If this creep brings it up, again, tell him "Let it go" and change the subject. If your girlfriend finds out about it, simply tell her it was error in judgment and you saw no purpose to steer the boat into a storm rather than let it remain a one-time ripple. I see no reason to court trouble over this situation. But it's your call if guilt and nervousness over the fact someone might blow the whistle on you, supersedes your ability to understand that people can be real troublemakers, and you don't have the courage to stand up to them.
