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Friends With Benefits
- By Miss Emily
- Published 10/6/2010
- Relationships - Women
I have a FWB situation. I told him I'm interested, and he said he isn't
ready for a relationship. But he asked me if I'd be willing to be
exclusive FWB with only him. I have agreed thinking that this will help
me in the future get him as a boyfriend. Well, it's been almost a month
since we agreed to exclusiveness. We only date each other, we are
exclusive on every aspect. But he is very insistent that he is just not
ready for a relationship. He has given me a few reasons, my ex, and I
think distance (I'm in college). To me, we are already in a relationship
without the title of being bf/gf. What is my next move? I worry that if I
ask him about when
he'll be ready for a relationship, it will only push him away. But I
have said I'm not ready now, either, because of school. So I'll be ready
when I graduate in May when I can live by him. I don't know what to do. Should I move on, and just do school, or do I continue how things are going and hope that he finally
sees that we already are together, and he seems too scared to admit it?
-------------------------------Miss Emily's advice-------------------------
I know, it seems sort of silly not to place this relationship in girlfriend/boyfriend status but, by not making it "official," it takes a certain emotional responsibility out of it. It's a bit like living with someone who doesn't want to get married, but you're still going through all the motions. You make a good case for not pushing this, right now -- although I know in these instances, urgency looms large. If it were me, I'd go along with the present plan until I finished school, in May, and address it then. I know you've entertained the idea of moving on, but that's more out of frustration, isn't it? You really like this guy and, although you risk getting in deeper than your already are -- and possibly in for some heartbreak -- that comes with the package of falling for someone and taking risks in love. You won't always win, but you can chalk it up to experience, because that's what we humans seek out in our lives.
-------------------------------Miss Emily's advice-------------------------
I know, it seems sort of silly not to place this relationship in girlfriend/boyfriend status but, by not making it "official," it takes a certain emotional responsibility out of it. It's a bit like living with someone who doesn't want to get married, but you're still going through all the motions. You make a good case for not pushing this, right now -- although I know in these instances, urgency looms large. If it were me, I'd go along with the present plan until I finished school, in May, and address it then. I know you've entertained the idea of moving on, but that's more out of frustration, isn't it? You really like this guy and, although you risk getting in deeper than your already are -- and possibly in for some heartbreak -- that comes with the package of falling for someone and taking risks in love. You won't always win, but you can chalk it up to experience, because that's what we humans seek out in our lives.
