Should I Join A Sorority?
- By Miss Emily
- Published 10/4/2010
- General
Dear Miss Emily,
I just recently went through Rush and I thought I fell in love with this house. I ended up receiving a bid, and was excited. I did not go into this thinking I would like anyone because I am not the partying type, but I do like participating in philanthropies. When I fell in love with this house, I really thought they weren't the partying type, and so I continued to be in the New Member Period. My mom is absolutely obsessed with sorority and always wanted me to be in one. She was a pledge but never went active because her parents would not pay for it. I thought I wanted to do this on my own, but I talked to my boyfriend and I am thinking that I am doing this to prove my mom I can do this. Don't get me wrong, I would love to wear letters and be all excited about a big sister. But the thing is I feel like I'm neglecting my time in my chemistry classes. I am a nursing major and my GPA from my freshman year is not that good, but I want to get it higher this year so I can either transfer into a nursing college or apply to the nursing college at my school. I feel like being pressured to go out every-night will be hard, because I need to have a certain amount of points before the end of the semester. We have to take a test on all the information and have to get a 100% on it. I just don't think I have time for it, but then my parents think I do nothing and, sometimes, I don't, but I don't like going out every-night to clubs. I am more of a bar, with music type of person. I also feel like if I quit the sorority, I will lose all the friends I gained because I think they might not talk 2 me if I'm not in the sorority anymore. I would really appreciate your help.
--------------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------------
Right away, I want to say to you: Hey, it's your life, not your mother's (who wants the vicarious thrill), and you have every right to proceed on a course that is comfortable and beneficial to you. But I am also willing to admit that some young women find a sorority a right of passage, and the camaraderie to be a joyous experience. There is a certain "status" associated with it, and it becomes glaring when one is fully aware that not all are considered worthy of the experience -- and that part, I do not like; as well, bar hopping was never my favorite pass-time, and small talk can get old, fast. There's something to be said for autonomy! Bottom line: If this truly interferes with your studies, I think you need to consider that above all else. If I'm not mistaken, most women, today, don't go to college to get their MRS., they go to study for a career they will love, and allow them to be financially independent. Be sure, however, that you are at a stage in your life where expressing your independence will make you feel proud, and self-assured, rather than an outsider if you do not join this sorority. As far as your mother is concerned, she'll get over it if you decide not to -- because this is not a life-or-death issue.
I just recently went through Rush and I thought I fell in love with this house. I ended up receiving a bid, and was excited. I did not go into this thinking I would like anyone because I am not the partying type, but I do like participating in philanthropies. When I fell in love with this house, I really thought they weren't the partying type, and so I continued to be in the New Member Period. My mom is absolutely obsessed with sorority and always wanted me to be in one. She was a pledge but never went active because her parents would not pay for it. I thought I wanted to do this on my own, but I talked to my boyfriend and I am thinking that I am doing this to prove my mom I can do this. Don't get me wrong, I would love to wear letters and be all excited about a big sister. But the thing is I feel like I'm neglecting my time in my chemistry classes. I am a nursing major and my GPA from my freshman year is not that good, but I want to get it higher this year so I can either transfer into a nursing college or apply to the nursing college at my school. I feel like being pressured to go out every-night will be hard, because I need to have a certain amount of points before the end of the semester. We have to take a test on all the information and have to get a 100% on it. I just don't think I have time for it, but then my parents think I do nothing and, sometimes, I don't, but I don't like going out every-night to clubs. I am more of a bar, with music type of person. I also feel like if I quit the sorority, I will lose all the friends I gained because I think they might not talk 2 me if I'm not in the sorority anymore. I would really appreciate your help.
--------------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------------
Right away, I want to say to you: Hey, it's your life, not your mother's (who wants the vicarious thrill), and you have every right to proceed on a course that is comfortable and beneficial to you. But I am also willing to admit that some young women find a sorority a right of passage, and the camaraderie to be a joyous experience. There is a certain "status" associated with it, and it becomes glaring when one is fully aware that not all are considered worthy of the experience -- and that part, I do not like; as well, bar hopping was never my favorite pass-time, and small talk can get old, fast. There's something to be said for autonomy! Bottom line: If this truly interferes with your studies, I think you need to consider that above all else. If I'm not mistaken, most women, today, don't go to college to get their MRS., they go to study for a career they will love, and allow them to be financially independent. Be sure, however, that you are at a stage in your life where expressing your independence will make you feel proud, and self-assured, rather than an outsider if you do not join this sorority. As far as your mother is concerned, she'll get over it if you decide not to -- because this is not a life-or-death issue.
