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- Is The Love Gone?
Is The Love Gone?
- By Miss Emily
- Published 09/30/2010
- Relationships - Teens
Dear Miss Emily:
I'm 18 and so is my boyfriend. We started dating almost 2years ago, but he broke up with me after 9months. A few months later, we got back together. It was hard but worth it at the start. Now were totally gone the opposite way, were very alike so we fight a lot. He is really immature and doesn't like talking about problems, he just wants to have fun. It's hard for us to see each other, with school and the fact he lives about an hour away -- but I always miss him when hes not around and I'm dying to see him. I don't feel like he feels this way for me. I love him so much and the thought of losing him, again, kills me, as I barely survived last time. When I try to talk, he always has to "go" or do something dumb like play video games. He just thinks I fight and moan at him all the time -- which I don't think is true..He has told me he isn't that happy anymore but loves me still. I just don't know what to do. He says he needs me to stop fighting, but I feel like when I have issues with him, I should be able to say it. Most of the time, he is just impossible to talk to or get through to.I feel like he doenst love me as much as i love him, and it's really hurting me.I have said this, but he just says he does. please help.
----------------------------Miss Emily's advice-----------------------
The bottom line in any good relationship, and it's chances of survival, is learning to communicate, mutual respect, and deciding to accept what you cannot change in each other -- or, here it comes, you need to find these elements, elsewhere. The hour distance between you and him makes it difficult to carry on a successful relationship, because being up-close and personal is part of the comfort level many people needs to feel secure. I think he's expressed to you that he's not happy, wants you go along with what he wants you to do, or he's ready to call it quits. You must decide how much longer you want to go after the things he's not willing to give. You said he's immature, and he accuses you of causing trouble that need not exist. You may have legitimate reasons for your complaints, but he doesn't see it that way. You have two choices from my point of view: Accept who he is and back off, or face the fact that this relationship may have run it's course. No one wants to be nagged, no matter how legitimate the reasons and, now, he only sees you as someone who makes unreasonable demands from him, and he's had it.
I'm 18 and so is my boyfriend. We started dating almost 2years ago, but he broke up with me after 9months. A few months later, we got back together. It was hard but worth it at the start. Now were totally gone the opposite way, were very alike so we fight a lot. He is really immature and doesn't like talking about problems, he just wants to have fun. It's hard for us to see each other, with school and the fact he lives about an hour away -- but I always miss him when hes not around and I'm dying to see him. I don't feel like he feels this way for me. I love him so much and the thought of losing him, again, kills me, as I barely survived last time. When I try to talk, he always has to "go" or do something dumb like play video games. He just thinks I fight and moan at him all the time -- which I don't think is true..He has told me he isn't that happy anymore but loves me still. I just don't know what to do. He says he needs me to stop fighting, but I feel like when I have issues with him, I should be able to say it. Most of the time, he is just impossible to talk to or get through to.I feel like he doenst love me as much as i love him, and it's really hurting me.I have said this, but he just says he does. please help.
----------------------------Miss Emily's advice-----------------------
The bottom line in any good relationship, and it's chances of survival, is learning to communicate, mutual respect, and deciding to accept what you cannot change in each other -- or, here it comes, you need to find these elements, elsewhere. The hour distance between you and him makes it difficult to carry on a successful relationship, because being up-close and personal is part of the comfort level many people needs to feel secure. I think he's expressed to you that he's not happy, wants you go along with what he wants you to do, or he's ready to call it quits. You must decide how much longer you want to go after the things he's not willing to give. You said he's immature, and he accuses you of causing trouble that need not exist. You may have legitimate reasons for your complaints, but he doesn't see it that way. You have two choices from my point of view: Accept who he is and back off, or face the fact that this relationship may have run it's course. No one wants to be nagged, no matter how legitimate the reasons and, now, he only sees you as someone who makes unreasonable demands from him, and he's had it.
