Dear Miss Emily:

I have been friends with a guy for almost 8 years, since high school and, today, he told me that he is in love with me. I am happily married and have been for 5 years. We have children together and are happy. I've never thought of this friend as a boyfriend, but he keeps acting like he can treat me better than my husband, which upsets me, because they are friends, as well. I don't want to lose my friendship over this, but I can't help but wonder if he'll stop saying things like this. I haven't told my husband, yet. I'm afraid he'll get mad at me, even though he has no reason to be. I just need help on how I should handle my friend, and if I should tell my husband and chance anger and emotions going haywire, or just keep my mouth shut and hope this blows over smoothly.

-------------------------------Miss Emily's advice---------------------------

I wouldn't say anything to your husband, just yet, but you need to be firm with this friend. He must make the decision to, gradually, disengage by moving on with his life and not cling to the hope you will come around. He has developed a dependency on you, and it's counterproductive to finding happiness in a relationship with another woman -- although he might be too insecure to find one. That may be part of the reason he clings so desperately to the relationship he has with you. If he persists, that is when you make the decision to cut him out of your life, and tell your husband "'John' confessed that he has feelings for me and, as sad as if is to lose the friendship, I must sever all ties."