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Boyfriend Holds A Grudge
- By Miss Emily
- Published 09/22/2010
- Relationships - Women
Dear Emily:
Hey, my boyfriend and I dated 6yrs ago. I ended up leaving him for another guy and needless to say, me and the other guy broke up a short time later. A year ago, I found my bf via facebook, and we began to talk again. My boyfriend and I are back together (6yrs later) and are now 9 months into the relationship -- but he still can't get over what I did to him 6yrs ago!. We constantly argue about it, because he feels like he can do whatever he wants because of what I did to him. Should he just get over it? How can we work this out together?
-------------------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------------------
Yes, he should get over it if there's any chance of this relationship working out for the duration. You can't change the past, he made a decision to get back with you, and he should not continue to punish you -- it's immature, and self-serving. This isn't a relationship, it's a war, he started, based on retaliation. He can't seem to get past the hurt and, because of that, I don't think there's much you can do because it takes two to find solutions. He doesn't seem to be on board with that necessary element to make this relationship anything more than difficult, and not my idea of a good time.
Hey, my boyfriend and I dated 6yrs ago. I ended up leaving him for another guy and needless to say, me and the other guy broke up a short time later. A year ago, I found my bf via facebook, and we began to talk again. My boyfriend and I are back together (6yrs later) and are now 9 months into the relationship -- but he still can't get over what I did to him 6yrs ago!. We constantly argue about it, because he feels like he can do whatever he wants because of what I did to him. Should he just get over it? How can we work this out together?
-------------------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------------------
Yes, he should get over it if there's any chance of this relationship working out for the duration. You can't change the past, he made a decision to get back with you, and he should not continue to punish you -- it's immature, and self-serving. This isn't a relationship, it's a war, he started, based on retaliation. He can't seem to get past the hurt and, because of that, I don't think there's much you can do because it takes two to find solutions. He doesn't seem to be on board with that necessary element to make this relationship anything more than difficult, and not my idea of a good time.
