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No Commitment, No Responsibility
- By Miss Emily
- Published 09/15/2010
- Relationships - Women
Hi Emily,
I know a relationship doesn't work without communication or trust. I'm with this guy I dated for 3months last year. He broke up with me without giving me a decent reason. We went about 2 months just hanging out, making me feel like we would get back together. Then he got with another girl. When that went bad after a month, he came back to me. He doesn't want to call us offically a couple. His reason: He doesn't want to be tied down. I have no clue what that means. We've been together since January. I see him almost everyday. However, I've caught him texting other girls. His best friend is a female (who is in a relationship w/ another girl) and he claims he tells her everything. However, she doesn't know much about me. We've only met once since she lives out of town. But he chooses to hang out w/ either her or me, never both. I don't know if I'm jealous because of all the other girls, or his best friend. I want to put this past me, but it doesn't make sense that he can't be with me.
-----------------------------Miss Emily's advice--------------------------
Here's the lesson to learn early in life: When someone tells you he wants something one way in a relationship, and you are not satisfied with the terms, leave the relationship -- because an issue such as this does not lend itself to compromise. He wants no commitment to you because he is always considering other alternatives -- plain and simple. He has every right ask you to do things his way, but that doesn't mean you have to go along with it -- and, obviously, you don't like the idea. It's not a matter of trust the way he's spelled things out. He's as much said "The reason I want these relationship terms, is because I don't want you to trust that I will be faithful to only you." No commitment -- no expectations - no guilt! You may be a close friend to him, but his relationship with this other girl takes precedence. Jealousy is a useless emotion -- it changes nothing. See him for who he is, accept what he offers, or have the courage to walk away.
I know a relationship doesn't work without communication or trust. I'm with this guy I dated for 3months last year. He broke up with me without giving me a decent reason. We went about 2 months just hanging out, making me feel like we would get back together. Then he got with another girl. When that went bad after a month, he came back to me. He doesn't want to call us offically a couple. His reason: He doesn't want to be tied down. I have no clue what that means. We've been together since January. I see him almost everyday. However, I've caught him texting other girls. His best friend is a female (who is in a relationship w/ another girl) and he claims he tells her everything. However, she doesn't know much about me. We've only met once since she lives out of town. But he chooses to hang out w/ either her or me, never both. I don't know if I'm jealous because of all the other girls, or his best friend. I want to put this past me, but it doesn't make sense that he can't be with me.
-----------------------------Miss Emily's advice--------------------------
Here's the lesson to learn early in life: When someone tells you he wants something one way in a relationship, and you are not satisfied with the terms, leave the relationship -- because an issue such as this does not lend itself to compromise. He wants no commitment to you because he is always considering other alternatives -- plain and simple. He has every right ask you to do things his way, but that doesn't mean you have to go along with it -- and, obviously, you don't like the idea. It's not a matter of trust the way he's spelled things out. He's as much said "The reason I want these relationship terms, is because I don't want you to trust that I will be faithful to only you." No commitment -- no expectations - no guilt! You may be a close friend to him, but his relationship with this other girl takes precedence. Jealousy is a useless emotion -- it changes nothing. See him for who he is, accept what he offers, or have the courage to walk away.
