Dear Miss Emily:

Hi. I feel really stupid but I'm heartbroken and don't know what else to do. I met my bf a year, ago, and fell really really in love with him. I cheated first but that was because he didn't care about the relationship. He then cheated for revenge, and other stuff, broke up with me and went with someone else. I flirted with other people etc. Like 4months, ago, we sat down and agreed to change. He said he would never hurt me, again, and same for me. Everything was great, of course we still had our doubts and I was always a paranoid mess -- lol, but our relationship started to deteriorate, and we weren't getting on like we used to. Of course, I still loved him more than anything, and I think he still loved me like that, as well. I looked through his phone and found he had sent a few texts to another girl when were going through a bad patch. Of course, I freaked out and broke up with him immediately. I was so hurt. Then he apologized, groveled, and said it was nothing -- it was a confidence boost, and he just felt like crap because our relationship wasn't doing well. I love him more than anything. I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't stop crying, and I'm a mess. It's not just because he did that, I know it's because I'm without him. Everyone of my friends say don't go back there, and I don't want to look stupid. And I'm scared our relationship will never work because of all the cheating and going on, and I'll just get really badly hurt again. Please help  me?

----------------------------------Miss Emily's advice-----------------------

Here's the thing: You cheated on him, in the beginning of this relationship, because you thought he didn't care about the relationship (he did the same) and, now, he has the excuse he needed a confidence boost.  Ridiculous! You and he simply weren't getting along, and there are reasons for that. This relationship is volatile, destructive, and fraught with tremendous indecision. In any good relationship, trust is the cornerstone, and neither of you trust each other. I don't know what it would take to make this relationship work because so much water is under the bridge, and there was an attempt to change and get it right -- once before. I would think long and hard as to why you might want to jump back into this relationship, when neither of you seem mature enough to handle it. Believe me, sometimes love isn't enough -- and you two have proved it. Perhaps the root of your pain has to do with rejection,  but that's no excuse for setting yourself up for another round of the same. I agree with your friends, don't go back there. Lick you wounds, and move on -- if you can.